Movies, Motorcycles, and a Fair Bit of Climbing

So I didn't do my assignment today. I'll do it tomorrow. I had other, more awesome things to do today.

I was just starting to dream of Inception when my alarm started ringing. I woke up, and it was nine o'clock. I got up and got ready for the day. Before I climbed the stairs I figured I should give this whole two-showers-a-day thing everyone's been bugging me about a go, so I decided to take a quick cold shower after my exercise. Well, it was nice. I felt all fresh and energetic. I might do it more often.

Anyway, I got dressed and decided that since I was already so nice and fresh from the shower I might as well gargle some mouthwash and have my breath be nice and fresh, too. While I was in my dad's bathroom to borrow the mouthwash, I noticed an edition of Scientific American on the counter. The cover informed me about 12 events that would change the world, but not in the way I thought. A blurb from a different article asked me "IS TIME REAL?". I decided to bring it along to read in college partially because it would make me look smarter, but mostly because I wanted to know if TIME WAS REAL. There was also stuff about nuclear wars and human cloning and self-aware machines, so that was nice, too.

After grabbing my sunglasses and the copy of The Runaways that Hannah burned for Carmeni, I went downstairs to my motorcycle and squeezed it out of the clutter of motorcycles surrounding it. I only realized that that process had bent one of the mirrors to an unusable angle, but I fixed it on the road and made it to college without dying.

At college I sat down next to Nirai, opened up my Scientific American, and tried to look intelligent. Carmeni's class was finished early because it was a quiz day, so I handed her the disc and we talked for a bit while she waited for Nicholas and I tried to figure out if TIME WAS REAL.

Eventually Carmeni got bored of sitting around in the corridor, so I walked with her down to the lower foyer to sit around there. Amanda and Kaminie were chatting down there, and right after saying hi, Amanda asked if I wanted to see a movie. That was the precise moment when I decided my Bahasa Kebangsaan assignment could wait until tomorrow.

Amanda said that she'd drop some people off first and meet me in Mid Valley, and I said that was cool. While we were walking to our vehicles, she pointed out that my sunglasses looked like a policewoman's aviators because "policemen have squarer ones". If we were being honest I'd say that my feelings were a wee bit hurt, but this here is my post on my blog, so instead I'll say that I replied with a devastating comeback and everyone laughed, even those who were out of earshot.

On my way out of the college, I pulled up alongside Amanda's Kancil. She told me that riding a motorcycle looked so cool and she wanted to try it. That was probably the first time someone has looked at my motorcycle and not called it "cute". After I left the college I remembered that I didn't know where to park motorcycles in Mid Valley, and also that I am scared of being on big roads on my small bike, so I drove home and got Ian to drop me off. He was reluctant, but he did it, so that was nice.

Amanda, Kaminie, and I all arrived outside GSC at the same time. I told Amanda that the next Inception showing was at two o'clock, and she said she was fine with that, which I was not expecting since it was only a little past noon. Still, I was elated that we weren't watching Eclipse even though it had the earlier screening.

After we got in line, Amanda asked me if I could go to her birthday on the 31st, and I told her that was the same day as MTV World Stage, and she told me that I could just come after that was over, so that was great. I asked her if what she said earlier about not needing to bring presents was true or some sort of girl-code for "There's no need to bring presents as long as you want to be HATED AND SHUNNED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE OF COURSE YOU MUST BRING PRESENTS IT IS A BIRTHDAY YOU HEARTLESS MORON" (Thanks to Hannah and Audrey for that girl secret), and she told me that nope, it really meant there was no need to bring presents, but if I'm going to bring a present then it should be a book.

When we were in line, something completely pointless happened. Kaminie was meeting up with someone, so at first she wasn't going to watch the movie with us. At some point she decided that she would come watch the movie with us, so when we got to the counter we asked for four tickets instead of two. However, when Kaminie saw that the only available seats were just one row from the screen, she decided that she didn't want to watch, so we were right back to where we began. On the plus side, the tickets were only RM14, so that was nice. I love Wednesdays!

I ordered some McDonald's while the girls went to the toilet. While I was waiting I stacked up my nuggets and poured the fries out around them. It was quite a tasteful arrangement. The girls arrived, we shared some food, and Kaminie got a call from her friend and went to meet him in the other McDonald's all the way down on the other side of the mall. She also made him promise not to hug her. I'm not sure if I even want to try to figure out what that was all about.

Amanda and I ate and talked about dancing and learning skills and our dream proposals and our dream weddings. Amanda's dream proposal was either something super public or super personal, so if her boyfriend likes it and wants to put a ring on it, then he's either going to have to get down on one knee in the middle of a crowded hotel lobby or something, or else he's going to have to decorate the room with ridiculous amounts of flowers and enough scented candles to burn down a city before she says yes. Good luck to that guy. I said I'd propose to my girlfriend by taking her for a walk on the beach as the sun sets before pointing out a bottle on the shore, which she would then open, which would reveal my proposal speech, and when she turns around I'd be down on one knee with a ring out asking if she'd marry me. This earned me an "Awww" from Amanda.

After discussing her and my perfect weddings (fashion show reception and skydiving VIPs, respectively), we went to MPH to spend our remaining fifteen minutes before the show started. I read a bit more of Murphy's Law, but I had to stop mid-chapter because the trailers were starting soon and we had to get upstairs. Before the movie we needed to pee (It is two and a half hours long, after all), but our screen wasn't open yet so instead of using the clean movie theatre toilets we had to use the less clean shopping mall toilets. Along the way back from the toilets Amanda mentioned how thirsty she was and produced a bottle of cough syrup from her bag which led to a discussion about how great cough syrup tastes (really great) and what the best cure for a sore throat is (two Strepsils Honey & Lemon lozenges. It has to be Honey & Lemon. I don't know why).

When we got back, the screen was open, which meant that if I had stayed a little longer in MPH and finished my chapter, then we would have arrived just in time to use the nice movie toilets right after the screen opened. Oh well, at least now I know what to change if I ever go time-travelling (After killing Hitler and acquiring the AIDS vaccine from the future, of course).

Anyway, Inception was awesome for the third time. I understood even more than the last two times (though I still have questions), and there weren't any laughing idiots beside me. The girl to my right kept getting calls, though, and Amanda was texting through some of the important parts, but she claims that wasn't a problem ("I could still HEAR").

After Inception Amanda bought an ice cream from McDonald's, and she ate it as I drove her car down the parking garage, which seemed to be a lot higher up than it was. It was the first time I was in that parking garage in a long time. Nowadays I usually park under the mall instead of alongside it.

Anyway, when we were driving back I asked Amanda if she still wanted to drive my motorcycle, and she said yes, so we went to Sri Wangsaria, parked in a spot that someone claims is theirs but never uses, and went down to my bike. Amanda's first concern was that the helmet would mess up her hair, but she got over that quickly enough. She managed to kick-start the motorcycle quite impressively, but she was unable to replicate her success later on. I told her to put the bike in fourth gear so there'd be very little acceleration and thus very little chance of a repeat of the time Jan fell over on the bike and then drove it under a parked car.

We spent the first few minutes practising how to stop the bike properly. Once Amanda realized that she should never, ever take her right foot off the bike when she was moving and never, ever move until both feet were off the ground, things got a lot easier. After that I could teach her how to balance the bike when it was stationary (left foot on the ground as far from the bike as you can manage) and when it was moving (either speed up or stop completely, but whatever you do don't wiggle the handlebars). When she had mastered that she drove from one end of the parking garage to the other with only stabilizing help from behind, so I could show her how to turn off the motorcycle. She picked up on how to do that after just one time. When we were done with the motorcycle, Amanda told me that she never realized how hard it was to ride a motorcycle and promised that she would never insult a rempit again.

I parked my bike back in its place and showed Amanda the difference between my semi-automatic and my dad's automatic, and then I invited her upstairs for some water and perhaps a chance to see the roof again. When we arrived on the 20th floor, I introduced her to my aunt, grandaunt, and grandmother, who were staying at my house for some reason. While Amanda was having some water in the kitchen, my grandmother asked if Amanda was my girlfriend. I replied that she was just a friend from college. My aunt pointed out that my face was still flushed from holding up the motorcycle earlier, except I don't think she assumed that that was what we were doing. I forget if I told her that we were tired and sweaty when we arrived because motorcycles are heavy and require a real effort to move slowly in fourth gear and that is why we looked the way we looked, but I sure hope I did.

I went in the kitchen to get some water and eat some lychees with Amanda. I found a pair of lychees that had been fused together, and I thought they looked pretty funny. Amanda said they reminded her of dog balls. Not a very subtle way of putting it, but that was what I saw, too, so whatever. After that I went to my room to see if we could use the TV to karaoke or play the Wii or something, but Jan had just started a Grand Prix in Mario Kart so I decided to head up to the roof instead.

Unfortunately, the door we had used to get up on the roof for New Year's Eve was locked, and the one that lead to the area above our balcony was locked, too. I was now also too big too squeeze between the stairs and out on the roof like I used to ages ago. Plus the stairs were covered with pigeon shit, so ew.

Instead, I climbed a ladder up to an unlocked hatch that led to a place that I'd never been to before. Amanda followed behind me. It turned out to be a huge water storage unit inside one of Sri Wangsaria's "horns". There was also a ladder that led up another few storeys, so I decided to check that out.

When I was almost at the top, I turned back to see how Amanda was doing, and I froze in place for a while. It was high up there. Really, really high. I finally now knew what was meant when people said "Don't look down". In the end I decided to keep climbing since I was only a few rungs from the end anyway, and I wanted to know what was up there.

It turns out that nothing was up there. Nothing but a ledge and a sheer drop. It was a ladder to nowhere. I threw an apple I had been munching off the edge and watched as it steadily accelerated downwards for a dozen seconds or so before exploding in a truly spectacular fashion. The view from the back side of the building was pretty awesome, too.

I climbed down to Amanda and told her that I could see her house from up there, but if she wanted to climb the ladder then for safety's sake there was something she had to do. I told her that once she made it around a third up the ladder, around the point where the frontwards view could be seen above the water storage unit, that she had to turn and look down and see if she wanted to climb any higher. That way if she could handle it she could keep going, and if she couldn't, then she was much closer to the floor for the climb back down. Amanda agreed, and when she got to the point where she turned around she decided not to go any further. The frontwards view was more than enough anyway.

After that we tried exploring around the water storage unit, but there was nothing to see, so we just climbed back down the hatch. I did have a little trouble closing the hatch, but eventually I settled for slowly lowering it on my head then ducking down a few rungs so it shut quietly. Hatches are heavy, and I think I may have just discovered the cause of the headache I developed while writing this.

Anyway, we got back inside the apartment, Amanda had to leave to go pick up her sister, Jan and Hannah said I was all grimy and that they could smell me from the couch, I took another shower, and I got on my computer and proceeded to not do the thing I had told myself I was going to do today since Friday: My Bahasa Kebangsaan assignment. Deep down inside I had probably anticipated that I would end up procrastinating, which is why I told myself I would do it on Wednesday so that I would still have all Thursday to do it.

Once again, the post about Ian's birthday will have to wait. Maybe I'll do it next Wednesday.

=D

And That, Children, Is Why We Should Moderate Our Drinking

So yesterday night was a blast. It was Carmeni's birthday party and the first time a whole bunch of us from college would be seeing each other since finals. The location was this pub called Backyard. It was a pretty cool place.

I arrived at 7:45, which would be 15 minutes late except that this is Malaysia and it was a party so I was actually early. The only other people there were Carmeni, Nicholas, and Kaminie. They had already ordered their food, but I arrived in time for drinks. I had a bottle of Heineken to get started while I tried to work out whether I would have enough money to get through the night. I determined that I did not, so I excused myself for a few moments and went across the block to borrow some money from my dad, who was having dinner with my mum and a friend just nearby. It was very fortunate.

When I got back there was conversation and pictures and then the food arrived. I had some of their fries while I waited for my fish and chips. The food took a long while to get from ordering to the table, so I was glad that I ordered almost as soon as I arrived. When my food finally arrived I shared my fries and ate a lemon. The rind made for good pictures.

Meanwhile, most of the other people who were coming were still either lost or on their way. Arun was driving Elo and Chris over, but he must've had no idea where we were because he was lost for almost two hours. Finally Nick get sick of all the text messages he was getting from Chris which seemed to be begging Nick to get him out of there, so Nick left to go pick them up.

A little after Nick left, Amanda and Davinia arrived. They finished the last two fries on my plate, and then ordered their dinner. I decided to try the mushroom soup, so I asked them to order one of those for me, too. Once that was done we sat around and caught up. Everyone said that it seemed like ages since we'd last been together, but I thought that my break went by ridiculously fast and that the last time we were together had been just like yesterday. Amanda and I talked about the weddings that we had been to in the last month. Hers had fireworks, but mine had an earthquake. She also got chased by a goat, but that was unrelated to the wedding. Anyway, pictures were taken, fun was had, Creep was played from the sound system. I spent the rest of the night anticipating Push, but it never came. Oh well.

Nick got back with Elo, Arun and Chris. More catching up was had, more pictures were taken, it was good times. The food arrived, too, so that was also good. I shared my garlic bread with Amanda and my soup with everyone, because it was exceedingly delicious.

Now that almost everyone was here (We were still waiting for Zach and his friends), we could order the whiskey. Almost all of us pitched in and we got, like, a litre of what I suppose was top-notch whiskey. We also got some soda, water, and free-flowing coke. My first two drinks were mixed with the coke, but after that I got bored and just drank it raw. That was some really smooth whiskey.

The band arrived and took ages to set up. Amanda recognized one of the members as her cousin's ex-boyfriend. I asked if the break-up had been amicable, and she told us how her cousin had gone through his messages and found out he was cheating on her. Apparently she had taken a knife from the kitchen and was ready to stab him when she didn't, for whatever reason. A little after that Nick brought him over and he tried to figure out where he knew Amanda from. He guessed who her dad was and commented on how much she'd grown, so I suppose it could have gone a lot worse.

The whole time there was a lot of good music being played, though not by the band because their set-up time rivalled that of some of the concerts I'd been to. Aside from Creep, the DJ played I Saw Her Standing There, Mustang Sally, Born in the USA, and a bunch of other songs I thought I would remember but I did not. Anyway it made me happy to hear the Beatles. Amanda was dancing in her seat, and I joined in. Dancing while sitting is very simple, you just move your shoulders and make repetitive gestures with your arms. It also doesn't feel as embarrassing as real dancing.

A cake arrived at the table, and it looked delicious. The band finally set up, Nicholas went on stage to sing Happy Birthday to Carmeni, and then we had cake, and it was good. The band started playing a bunch of classics. Some people in front of the bar tried dancing along. One was this heavyset dude who I could sympathize with, since he obviously did not know how to dance and he looked a bit self-conscious, but he was clearly enjoying himself. There were also a couple of women: a bespectacled Chinese lady who thought she was younger than she was, and a British lady who had probably come to watch the election or something with a bunch of other Brits. She got progressively more attractive as the night wore on.

Eventually Zach arrived with his friends. Amanda pulled brought a guy to the table and introduced him to everyone. I thought that he was with Zach, but he just happened to be at the pub at the same time as the rest of us. She told me that he was her ex boyfriend and that she was still totally in love with him or something. That is the point where I realized she probably was drunk. I had started suspecting it when she leaned over and asked if I knew how to dance. I had learned my lesson a long time ago, though, so I just said I had no idea and left her on her own as she got off the chair and danced.

Soon the bottle of whiskey was almost empty. On my last pour I checked to make sure there was still some left, because I thought it would suck to be the guy to finish it. I decided to stop drinking at that point, so I tried to move over to the other side of the table because it had chairs against the wall and allowed an easier viewing of the stage. I stood up, but everything was super wobbly so I sat back down. The last thing I remember with any amount of clarity was leaning over to Elo and telling her that Amanda was very attractive and she deserved her ex before Elo leaned over and told me that Amanda was probably more drunk than any of us.

Anyway, the next thing I remember I sitting in a toilet stall with my pants around my ankles while I puked all over them. At some point I made a call to my brother, Ian, requesting he bring pants and in exchange I would give him a whole bunch of money. I think my exact words were "Minimum fifty, maximum three hundred". Then I woke up again, surveyed the damage, and attempted to transcend spacetime. When that didn't work I just settled for passing out again.

I only woke up again when people started banging on the door. I think Nick might have been one of them. I put on my pants, opened the door, and woke up outside the pub in the grass. Davinia was saying she wasn't going to drive me home any more. I think I mumbled that I totally understood and if I was in her position I would not want to take me home either. I think Arun said he would drive me back, so I mumbled about getting plastic bags. I think I didn't talk about anything else for the rest of my time on the grass. It was just "Do you have any plastic bags" "Can't you get some plastic bags" "I think there's like a 7-Eleven somewhere, they probably have plastic bags there". Actually, I stopped for a moment when one of the guys decided to exploit my current state and ask me who I liked. Thankfully my answer was not anyone at the party. Also, I'm pretty sure I promised Arun "Minimum fifty, maximum one hundred" because he volunteered to drive me home.

I think I was being walked to Arun's car when Ian arrived. He said something to the guys about how dumb I was for trying to be a hero and drinking more than I can handle, and then he got me in the car and drove us home. Our friend, Sarah, was also in the car because Ian was driving her home. Once she was dropped off, Ian told me that Arun told him I didn't have to pay, which was nice. Ian still wanted his three hundred, though. He showed me the pants that he had brought. I asked him why they were shorts and he told me that it would be very difficult to get me into long pants. After he made his point, I said that was very wise. I then told him that since he hadn't actually changed my pants that I would not be giving him the full three hundred. He said that was not fair. I told him to pull over because I was about to throw up.

Ian couldn't pull over because he was on the highway, a fact which he shared with me. He passed me a plastic bag, but I was in no condition to operate it and so I just puked on it instead of in it. After a while he found a place he could pull over. I got out and collapsed on the grass. I think I may have thrown up a bit more, but I can't remember. I do remember feeling better about myself because I recognized where we were (nearby Victoria Station and Jake's Charbroiled Steaks). When we got back in the car I attempted to calculate if I had enough money to cover all the money I had promised to everyone. Ian told me that I should not be doing math. I told him that no, it was cool, I had a limit of seven hundred and I was pretty sure I was under the limit.

I thought that I was well enough to sit up, so I tried. Ian said that was a bad idea, and indeed it was, so I collapsed back onto the back seat. The rest of the ride home was spent trying to find a good song to play. I asked Ian if there was any Ke$ha on the radio, but he said there wasn't, so I asked for Adam Young since I remembered he had an Owl City CD in his car. He told me he didn't have any Owl City any more, which confused me. He switched to his CD player anyway. I said "That's Mercedes" and Ian told me that no, we were not in a Mercedes, we were in his car. I told him I meant Mercedes from Glee, and he said that oh yeah, it was. Apparently he had swapped his Owl City CD for the Glee Soundtrack. We arrived home during Kurt's rendition of "Defying Gravity".

I told Ian to take me upstairs and leave me in the shower, and I would try and take care of the rest. He did, but not before typing "i owe Ian RM300" on my phone. It was a nice try.

I woke up sometime later and managed to clean myself up. The hardest part was getting up off the floor. The shower head looked really, really far away from where I was lying. I pulled it off anyway, but once I was done I didn't have enough strength to drive off, so I just put on a bathrobe and threw a towel on my head and collapsed on the couch.

At six o'clock in the morning I changed into my pyjamas and got into my bed with my cat. My cat was very cautious of me and approached me with apprehension. He sniffed me for a bit and decided to sleep somewhere else. I guess he does not trust drunks.

Anyway I slept for another six hours and woke up at noon. I sent my apologies to Carmeni and my thanks to Arun via Elo, then I cleaned out my wallet and threw it in the wash. Now I am here typing this out. I'm going to say that the first three hours of the night were definitely great, and everything after that was worth it to learn a lesson and get a story to tell.

I'm sticking to beer from now on.