Monday, July 26, 2010

Ian's Birthday vs Hannah's Birthday

Hannah's birthday is today, but we celebrated on Saturday, so that is the day I will be blogging about. Ian's birthday was on the 13th, I think. Here is how they went down:

On the day of Ian's birthday I went out with Hannah and Jan to buy presents for Ian. I bought RM75 worth of video games for him at Mid Valley, which meant I had spent RM15 more on Ian's presents than on Hannah's presents (I had gotten her a pretty dress earlier on in the month that she really enjoyed, but she wasn't allowed to wear it until her birthday), so I decided to even things out by getting her a skirt from Cotton On. It soon became apparent that I would not have enough money for the rest of the month. Anyway, we went back home and played some Wii before being interrupted by our dad, who told us we had to come up with something special to give our grandmother for her birthday. We ended up making a photo album/scrapbook type thingy, but that was a few days later and not really related to Ian's birthday.

On the day of Hannah's birthday party, I woke up to my alarm, which was supposed to remind me to pick Jan up from something at nine. I turned it off and went back to bed. When I woke up again it was much later and most of Hannah's friends were already at our house.

In the evening before Ian's party, Ian drove Hannah and me to get some alcohol, some snacks, and some dinner. We ended up buying some vodka and some rum, a whole bunch of crisps and marshmallows. We also ate dinner at Pizza Hut. There were some pretty girls from an international school in the booth behind us, and after a while they started giggling when we talked and mocking our conversation. I should have introduced myself to them. They seemed nice.

In the morning before Hannah's party, I wandered around the house in my glasses and pyjamas asking Hannah, Audrey and Ebony if they were done getting ready because we had to go pick up Jan soon. They told me they would be done in five minutes. Five minutes later I went into Hannah's room in my contacts and going-out clothes, and they still weren't ready. I was told that five minutes in girl time is half an hour of real time. Women scare and confuse me.

Ian's birthday party started with Indian Poker, which moved on to the characters game from Inglorious Basterds, which moved on to a drinking game. The characters game was fun. I had "Winnie the Pooh" stuck on my face, and my first few questions were "Am I the largest among my friends?", "Am I a black guy?", "Do I enjoy alcohol?", "Am I successful with the ladies?", and "Am I Papa Smurf". Joel was Dora the Explorer, and he never guessed his. It took Jared ages to guess that he was Barbie, too. There were maybe ten people during the characters game, but when the time came for the drinking game, only Jared, Jan, Ian, and I were left.

Hannah's birthday party started with Ian driving Audrey, Ebony, Saundra, Hannah, and me over to FGA to pick up Jan from Sri Sempurna's speech day, since 10th KL was doing some band thing there and Jan was on the drums. The car was very noisy on the way there and back.

On Ian's birthday we played King's Cup and Jared and Jan used every rule card they drew to try and get each other drunk. In the end, Ian downed the King's Cup (Contents: Milk, vodka, rum, orange juice, coke, and a single marshmallow) and got very drunk very fast. I only drank a little and felt mildly tipsy, while Hannah only had one sip of alcohol so she could stay sober to observe our drunken antics.

After we picked Jan up, we all went to Mid Valley to get tickets to see Inception. It would be my fourth time and Hannah's second time. The line was ridiculously long and everyone abandoned me to go eat Burger King. I asked Hannah if she would get me a drink so I wouldn't be so thirsty in line. She said she would. She never did.

After Ian, Jan, and Jared were nice and drunk, we ate some Lays and played some Wii. Ian's friend Daniel came over for a short while and Jared tried not to make a bad impression. I think he failed. Daniel left soon after. Jan became fixated with the Lays and so the packet of crisps would follow us for the rest of the night.

When I finally reached the ticketing counter I had to make a decision on my own because Ian, Jan, Hannah, Audrey, Ebony, and Saundra all weren't picking up their phones. The Sorcerer's Apprentice was the next good movie that was showing, but the seats were all over the place, so I got the 5:45 Inception tickets and got a row of five seats right in the centre of the cinema and all the way up front, since the front row was all that was left. I hoped that I had chosen wisely.

When we got bored with the Wii, I had a brilliant idea. We should go downstairs and roam the building. Ian objected, because he's boring and responsible, but we convinced him to go anyway. He expressed continual protest in the form of elevator flatulence. I'm not gonna lie to you guys, it was pretty terrible. We managed to survive, though, and so we stumbled onwards to the playground.

When I arrived a Burger King I was pretty upset that nobody had answered their phones, but then they showed me that there was no reception down in Burger King, so I couldn't get mad about that. Instead, I got mad with Hannah for not bringing the drink she promised me. She gave me five ringgit and told me to buy a drink with that, so I stopped being angry. We then took some pictures. I don't think they're on Facebook yet.

When we got to the playground, I went straight for the swings with Hannah. Jared fell off the slide, and Jan pretended to dump some crisps off the side of the building. I'm not sure if he actually did, but I wouldn't put it past him. I forgot what Ian was doing, but it was probably something equally stupid. Eventually a guard came over and told us that the playground was closed and we would have to keep quiet so that nobody complained. This was a minor obstacle, but I soon discovered that it wasn't that hard to manage the volume level of three drunken idiots.

Everyone ditched me again to go to the Mac store, so I went off on my own to get a sausage croissant for my hunger and a huge Aunty Anne's passion fruit drink for my thirst. They were heaps great. I went upstairs to meet the guys at the Mac store, but nobody was there, so instead I went to the centre of the mall to listen to a surprisingly talented band called Qings and Queens play some surprisingly awesome songs in the middle of some sort of Apple convention. Everything was smooth and round and shiny. It was like walking into the future (if the future had a kick-ass contemporary soundtrack).

Our first stop after the playground was the tennis courts. Ian was reluctant to go down the stairs to them, and he made a fuss. Somehow I managed to get him down the stairs, where he hung around with Jan for a bit. Jan lay down on a bench and declared that he was going to sleep. Hannah looked on in amusement. I issued a challenge to drunk Jared: prove he was smarter than sober Jared by walking around the perimeter of the tennis court without saying anything. Jan wanted to prove something, too, so he came along while Hannah stayed behind to manage Ian. Jan lasted for about five seconds before forgetting what he was doing and releasing a stream of noisy nonsense from his lips, so I had to shush him down every so often only for him to forget again and repeat the process. Jared, on the other hand, stumbled along in relative silence, only opening his mouth when he looked over the edge of the wall at a sheer two-storey drop into the jungle. When he saw what lay below, he turned to me and said "Shaun, if I die, my dad will kill me." It took him a while to figure out why I was laughing.

After a few songs I called up the group and asked where they were, and they told me that they were at another IT store very nearby because Ian wanted to buy an iPod accessory or something for Hannah. I met up with them and soon after we went downstairs to check out the Apple convention to see if they had any iPod accessories there, since there was nothing up where we were.

After making it around the perimeter of the tennis court in relative silence, I congratulated Jared on his accomplishment. Ian grabbed Jared and they talked about how they totally should've invited some hot chicks to the party, because right now they could be getting so laid. I think it was at this point when Hannah and I realized how truly wasted they were. Anyway, they wouldn't shut up about the subject, so I told Jared it was a good thing there were no hot chicks, since if things got too heated none of us would be sober enough to drive down to the 7-Eleven for condoms, but the drunken sexy times would have gone ahead anyway and might have even led to pregnancies, so it was actually a very fortunate thing that there were no hot chicks. Jared looked at me like I had unleashed some great ancient wisdom on him and declared me a genius. Meanwhile, Jan went back to his bench and dozed off for a bit.

Down at the convention Jan got to play with an iPad, but he had to give it back before I could have my turn. Ian found his present for Hannah, and everyone else did girl things and talked about girl stuff (Or so I assume. I wasn't really paying attention, because the iPad was very shiny). A DJ got on stage and said he was giving away iPod Nanos, an Audrey asked Jan to go win her one. Jan said no, since he wanted to go home and sleep or something. Anyway, we got in the car and went home and I went to sleep for a long while while the girls did girl things and Ian played poker and Jan... I forget what Jan did. Ah, it isn't important anyway; he's only Jan.

We climbed up the stairs from the tennis courts and Jared told me he had to pee, so I took him to the toilets under the playground. Ian objected to this, saying that the restaurant toilets were closer, which was true, but the toilets under the playground were cooler (Davinia and Amanda can attest to this). I told Jared that he might want to sit if his aim was affected, but he told me that it wasn't and to listen up. Sure enough, there was only the sound of liquid on liquid. He probably didn't even get a drop on the porcelain. I think it's some kind of super power. We washed our hands and exited the toilet and I asked if he wanted to see the lady's bathroom (It is an inverse of the men's, and I was hoping it would blow his drunken mind), but he got distracted by a bunch of ants on the floor and decided to assault them instead. His method of attack was a flying kick, which went over as well as you would expect it to. I collected him off the ground and hobbled him over to the restaurant where the rest were waiting. Along the way he asked me if I remembered the time him and I had a crush on the same girl, or the time that he lost a ball and I went to get it, or something else that I forgot. Jared gets nostalgic when he's drunk.

Ian woke me up at five o'clock. I got ready quickly and herded the girls into the car so that we wouldn't be late. Along the way to the mall we played The Platypus Game, which is basically truth or dare without the dares. Don't ask me why it's called that; Hannah named it. Anyway, I learned quite a bit about the girls from that, but they didn't learn much from me.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Jan was asleep on a table. Jared and I sat down and pretended to be cannibals. I found the idea of rump steak a little too funny. Jared, meanwhile, momentarily forgot that we were pretending and tried to take a bite out of Jan, who woke up in a daze and murmured "That's going to hurt tomorrow." Ian was still in the bathroom and Hannah was outside, probably fearing for the worst (Pee everywhere).

We managed to find a parking space under Mid Valley, which was pretty great. We went to the nearest elevator, but it was all the way on the third floor so we took the stairs instead. We were behind the walls of the shopping mall, and it felt pretty cool and backstage, and when I say cool and behind-the-scenes I mean "dark" and "wafting with the odours of the urine of various unsavoury characters". The girls thought I was lost, but I ended up leading us to right outside the cinema, which proved once again that women have no sense of direction and it's a good thing that us guys are here for them to follow.

Fortunately for Hannah, there was no mess to clean up when Ian exited the toilet. However, he was getting pretty tired of being downstairs and wanted to go home. Jared wanted to keep exploring, so I told Hannah to take Ian and Jan upstairs while I took care of Jared, but she wanted to stay and watch Jared, so in the end we all stayed downstairs to wander around the building.

The screen wasn't open when we arrived, so we waited around. Saundra wanted to continue The Platypus Game, so Hannah helped her corner me and she asked me the question she had been formulating since we parked: "When was the last time you jerked off?" Without hesitation I answered "Yesterday." After a few moments I added "Actually, maybe not. I can't remember. But I know that I definitely did the day before." Hannah later informed me that her original question was going to be whether I even masturbated at all, which told me that Saundra knows a lot less about guys than she thinks she does.

Wandering the path along the back of the building didn't yield much excitement. At one point Jan lay down to look at the stars and Jared joined him. Jared turned to Jan and asked him why the stars were all green. If Jan hadn't dozed off again he probably would have told Jared that that was because they were under a tree. As Jan was standing up again he found a leaf, which he put inside the bag of crisps. Hannah asked him why he did that, and he said it was to "trick someone". After that we climbed around to the road inside the front of condominium's compound. Jan and Jared had some trouble getting up the steep road, so I told Ian to wait while I got the others. Ian sat down on a wall, so I told him to just "Stay put, Humpty-Dumpty", which he found hilarious.

The screen opened and we were all ready to go watch, but Audrey wasn't with us. Hannah spotter her and the snack line and we called her to us. She arrived with her arms full of popcorn and drinks. I should have warned her against that. Anyway, I told everyone to go pee before the movie because it is two and a half hours long and if you miss even five seconds of it you have the potential to be lost for the rest of the movie. Saundra and Audrey did not pee because they "Didn't need to go". Foolish girls.

When I got the others to summit the steep slope, Hannah joined up with Ian because he was already stumbling off into the distance. Jan hung around being inconsequential, and Jared walked over to a nearby guardhouse to steal some shoes. The guard was not happy with this, of course, so after getting Jared to put the shoes back I apologized to the guard for my drunk friend and promised I would get him home quietly. We stumbled back up the road for a bit, but Jan stopped midway to look at the stars, and Jared joined him. "Whoa," said Jan, "it's like I'm flying."

Our seating arrangement was supposed to be Ebony-Hannah-Saundra-Me-Audrey, so that Hannah could be between two of her friends and so that Saundra and Audrey could direct their questions at me instead of bothering Hannah and so that Saundra and Audrey wouldn't be talking to each other throughout the movie, but Audrey refused to sit next to me for some reason so everyone just moved one seat down and we ended up being Audrey-Ebony-Hannah-Saundra-Me. The pre-movie advertising was not in the order I remembered them, which kinda disappointed me because I was hoping I could say "Yeah, I've watched the movie so many times that I've memorized the order of the bloody commercials". A few minutes before the movie started, a guy sat next to me and started laughing at something stupid. I was terrified that I might have to face the prospect of sitting through the movie with another laugher. Right before I could articulate this terror to Hannah, Saundra whipped open her phone and started texting. Stuck between a texter and a laugher. Oh, the horror.

I got Jared and Jan off the ground and stumbled them a bit closer to home. Ian had left without us, but I told him we would be back shortly after him so there were no worries there. Hannah stayed with us. I pointed out a red beacon on the roof of our building and told Jared it was a red star. He believed me. I took him into some greenery behind the fence that goes around our building and told him to grab the bars and look out into freedom. He tried, but he was blocked by a sign. He seemed disappointed. His sadness didn't last for long, though, because Jan had started drumming on a sign under Hannah's supervision, and Jared was eager to have a go. I dragged them away before they could wake anyone up.

Fortunately, the guy next to me only laughed at the jokes, instead of at everything, so he was tolerable. Saundra, however, continued to text throughout the movie. Eerily enough, she ended up texting through some of the exact same parts as Amanda. Ebony and Audrey were occasionally texting, too. Hannah told me that Audrey was actually texting Saundra at one point. Women: I simply do not understand them.

Our final stop before going upstairs was the parking garage. I told Jared that he could ride my motorcycle for a bit. He got on the wrong motorcycle, peered at a verse from the Koran on the speedometer, and asked why there was "funny writing" on the motorcycle. I managed to remove him from the stranger's bike and get him to my own. He got on, made some vroom vroom noises, and when he got off he was deliriously happy. Meanwhile Jan mistook the a staircase's handrail for a slide and had himself a jolly good time. We all took a turn on the handrail slide. It was fun.

When the movie was over, people a few rows above us started applauding. That was cool. I thought of joining them, but the rows that were clapping were too far away and I felt kinda foolish. Instead I rounded up the ladyfolk and led us out of the cinema. Ebony's first exclamation when the movie was over was "Someone please explain this to meeee!". Saundra said it was her favourite movie, and Audrey said that she wasn't going to see it again because she didn't believe in watching movies twice, which is one of the most retarded things I've ever heard, and, as you'll soon discover after reading the paragraph below, that's saying something.

Jared needed to pee again, so I took him to another toilet. Once again, there was only the sound of perfect accuracy. Jared washed his hands in the sink, then dunked his face in it. "I could breathe in there!" he told me. Not possible, I told him. "My face is wet," he continued. That is what tends to happen when you dunk your face in a sink of water, I told him. He then picked up a mop and walked over to where Jan was lying on the floor and tried to put the mop in his face. I think he said it would give Jan awesome hair or something. Jan did not agree, so I wrestled the mop off of Jared and put it back in its place. When I came back Jared was telling Jan how his sister was in love with Jan but if Jan ever did anything to Saundra he would kill him. Jan said not to worry because he liked Cherie and was not at all interested in Saundra. Jared said that he liked Trisha. Hannah and I didn't know who Trisha was, but after that we were determined to find out.

Because Audrey and Saundra had ignored my advice at the start of the movie, and also because Audrey had bought those huge drinks, the girls needed to go to the toilet again. We went down to the second floor to avoid the crowd, but apparently all the stalls were still full, so we went down to the first floor, where I got to wait outside the toilet looking like some kind of creep.

We quizzed drunk Jared about Trisha, but all we really found out was that she was a little nice to him and a lot not nice, and that her boobs were just okay and not the reason he was attracted to her. Jared got distracted by a sign in the car park, and walked over to try and remove an arrow from the wall. Jan followed behind and was all "Hey, let's make this car make the noise!" right before attempting to set off an alarm. We stopped him, but a little later we turned around and saw him trying to wrangle the hood ornament off of a Mercedes Benz. We convinced him to quit messing around with luxury automobiles and headed home. As we were heading upstairs, Jan stepped on some kind of moth-like bug. Jared took it off of him and declared that he was going to "kill this at Ian". I did now know what that meant, but I did know that I wanted to be there when it happened.

After waiting for an uncomfortably long time outside the toilets, I finally saw the girls emerge. I took us back through the stairs and urine-stained corridors, and we ended up right nearby the car. At this point Audrey decided to take charge, and declared that the car was this way. I told her no, the car is on that side, so let's go back through where we came. Audrey said that we could just walk around, but I ignored her and went back through the doors, out the other side, and straight to the car, which was right where I remembered it being, because I am a man with a superior sense of directions and I will not be led astray by womenfolk and their faulty interior compasses.

We got home and took some pictures and videos in the elevator. When we came through the house Jan deposited his heels by the door (Did I mention that Jan went downstairs in my mother's heels and that they were with him the whole time? Well Jan went downstairs in my mother's heels and they were with him the whole time), and he went into the room with the rest of us. Ian was lying on the couch, and Jared remembered his bug and got ready to kill it at Ian.

Along the way back home Hannah and I cleared up some misconceptions about Inception for the benefit of the rest of the group, and then we continued The Platypus Game. Well actually I clarified some stuff about masturbation to Saundra and Audrey, because Saundra was not aware how many guys did it (pretty much all of us) and how frequently we did it (one to five times a week, maybe?), while Audrey was convinced it was unhealthy. I told her that studies had shown that it was healthy, and I had online sources that I could cite to back it up. All she had was some book. But yeah, after that we played some more Platypus game as we drove back to drop off Aunty Rosie's Kancil so she could go to church.

Killing the bug at Ian was pretty funny. Jared threw it on Ian's face, Ian threw it off of him, it landed on Jan, who threw it back to Jared, and they tossed it around for a bit until it disappeared into some forgotten corner where it is probably still decomposing in today. After that I managed to convince Jan and Jared to finish off whatever drinks were still in the cups we had been using for King's Cup, then took all the breakable glass objects out of the room and cleaned up all the spills. After that I helped Ian and Jan take off their contact lenses. I also fetched some water for the guys to prevent hangovers. Jared kept going to the toilet, and I kept reminding him to wash his hands. One time he exited the toilet and said he had made a "smiley face". Some time later he came out with a bunch of toilet cleaner and squirted it all over the room of our floor, creating another spill that I had to wipe up. Another time he went in the toilet wearing the very expensive blazer that my dad had bought me for HMC's annual ball. He called it his "toilet jacket". Hannah tried to stop him, but he was too quick for her. I managed to get it off him, but I've been to scared to check it for stains since them. I'll just get it dry-cleaned next time I need it or something. Eventually Jan got bored of Jared having all the fun, so he picked up a Guitar Hero disc and threw it across the room in a rather spectacular fashion. It wasn't fun cleaning up the bits of plastic after that, but it was fun seeing Jan get so angry at an inanimate object. "Let's see it not work on my computer NOW!" he said. I wonder what Saundra sees in him.

As soon as we arrived home we swapped Aunty Rosie's car keys for my mum's. Hannah asked my parents for some pizza money so she could get some Domino's to bring back home and eat. I said that was silly and we should eat in Pizza Hut, because Domino's is only popular for its 30-minutes-or-it's-free promise, and Pizza Hut has better seating for eating in. Hannah and her entourage disagreed vehemently, so I relented and took us to Domino's. I was secretly disappointed because ordering take-away meant less time to play The Platypus Game, but it was Hannah's birthday and dinner was her decision to make.

Jared found some breath spray and thought it was eye-wash. I managed to snatch it off him right before he maced himself. After a while he started to lose steam, but he kept asking for his phone and car keys because he thought parents would be expecting him home and he wanted to drive back soon. He was still drunk enough to get himself killed on the road, so I gave Hannah his keys and told her to hide them, while I kept his phone. While I was holding his phone, he told me to send Trisha a text. He dictated what I should write, and I copied it down verbatim. I think it was something like "I like you because you are pretty and nice but you don't bucket me back. I am drunk." He had meant to say "like me back", but he looked at a bucket and got distracted. I sent the text to Trisha and also to Saundra, because that seemed like a funny thing to do at the time. Once Jared's phone was gone, I tried to get the guys to go to sleep so that they could sleep off their drunken states. I even set my alarm so I would receive a fake phone call from Jared's dad, and I told him that his son was asleep and would be going home at 3am. Jared thanked me for covering for him, and then he asked Ian who had the best boobs.

Hannah and her friends spent a real long time in Domino's getting their pizzas, so I went to a nearby cafe and had some soft drinks and lamb chops. The lamb chops were really, really good. After a while the girls caught up with me and we continued The Platypus Game. I responded to a question of how much someone would have to pay me to kiss Jared with RM30. Jan was worth RM45, and Hannah was RM20. I then asked the girls how much someone would have to take them before they touched each others' boobs, and they said that they would do it for free and proceeded to demonstrate. Girls are so gay.

Ian's response to Jared's question was some movie actress. Jared responded with another movie actress. I don't think I knew who either of them were. I tried to test how drunk the guys were by saying that I thought Kiera Knightley had pretty good boobs, but they didn't get it. After a few moments of silence Ian exclaimed "SHAUN! YOUR FRIEND FROM NEW YEAR'S EVE! AMANDA! SHE HAD AWESOME BOOBS! AWESOME BOOBS! THEY WERE SO AWESOME!" I told him I would be sure to relay the message.

After I was done with my dinner we all got in the car and drove home. Nobody else could come up with any questions, so they deferred them all to me. One of my questions was something along the lines of "On a scale of one to ten, where ten is the foremost expert in the field, nine is someone who's spent all their life dedicated to the subject, eight is someone who has spent decades studying and making a career out of the subject, seven was someone whose primary hobby is learning about the subject, and so on, where would you rate your knowledge of sex and sexual acts?" I said that I was probably a six, and Ebony said that she thought she was a six, too, but everyone disagreed, and eventually we bargained her down to a two or three. After that I drove around in a few pointless loops to see if the girls would notice, and they did. They were hungry and wanted to get home and eat pizza, so they continued to complain to me even when I got us back on the road home.

I tried to quieten down the guys by turning off the lights, but a few moments after flicking the switch I heard glass shatter, so I scrambled for the lights and when they came back on we found out that Jan had broke a McDonald's glass. Again. And it was a blue one, too. That was the best colour. It was hidden under the couch for some reason, but Jan found it anyway and smashed it with his foot. That boy has a knack for breaking McDonald's Coca-Cola glasses when he's drunk. Anyway, I moaned at him for the repeat of New Year's Eve while I tried to collect all the bits of broken glass and dispose of them. It took a while, but when it was over I double-checked for any remaining cups, glasses or bottles. Once I was satisfied with my search I checked Jan for injuries. He only had a tiny little cut from a tiny little splinter of glass, but he kinda deserved so he got no sympathy from me.

Once we got home the girls ate their pizza and drank their coke. Hannah complained to my dad about me disturbing them, so I got a short lecture about giving her space since she was a teenager now and that even though she appreciated me she didn't want me hanging around all the time. I told my dad that I don't really think she appreciates me, but that I would give her some space. I think after that I either went to take nap or went on the computer.

I finally got the guys to quieten down by telling them a story. I tried to make it as boring as possible, but they kept interrupting me and asking questions and they never did really fall asleep. It was about a guy named Leslie who bought a house and painted it a different colour and refurbished the insides so he could sell it for more than he bought it for. Also he had a best friend who was a teddy bear and they found a rainbow staircase to the basement that led to a box made of chocolate with chocolate treasures inside and a dragon that breathed chocolate. I guess in hindsight it wasn't such a boring story after all.

At nine o'clock Hannah woke me up because I had to drop Audrey and Saundra off at their houses. I can't remember the journey. I remember that when I stopped at Audrey's house the girls spent what seems like ages hugging and saying goodbye and that they'd miss each other so much and all that. Girls are so gay.

Sometime during the story Hannah slipped out to go take a shower. My alarm went off at 3am and I got another pretend phone call from Jared's dad, but Jared saw through the ruse and asked for his phone back. Jared insisted that he was seriously sober enough to go home, so I called Hannah and discussed it for a bit. Jared's voice had gone back from his drunk voice to his sober voice (his pitch goes higher when he's drunk. It's great), and he was able to catch keys and stuff so his reflexes were probably okay. Still, we asked him to drink some more water and then go pee one more time to get the remaining alcohol out of his system. In between the water and the peeing, the three of us reminisced about the night. Jared had so many holes in his memory that we had to fill. We thought it was pretty funny that he had drunk to the point of memory loss. Also he told us about how much Saundra was in love with Jan and how she had come back from school one day with Jan's name written on her hand and stuff. I don't know what she sees in him.

I dropped Saundra off at home and there were more hugs and stuff. Wait no. There were no hugs at Audrey's place. We never went to Audrey's place. Why do I remember that? Audrey's parents were at Saundra's house, so I just had to drop them off at the same place. Well, whatever. There were still loads of hugs and goodbyes and nonsense like that. Girls are still so gay.

Jared left our house and Hannah went to bed. I did my exercises, took a shower, made a final inspection of the room for spills and glass and messes like that, but it was spotless, so I went to sleep. All in all it was a nice night.

The next day Ebony came to church with Hannah and the rest of us. I dropped her off at home later on in the evening. On Hannah's actual birthday (Monday, which was today when I started this post but is now technically tomorrow), we went for dinner at Chili's. We didn't have a cake, though, because Hannah doesn't like cake. Silly girl. All in all it was still a nice three days, though.

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