Driving, Gua Tempurung, Kuala Woh, and Cameron Highlands with Corinna

As of Tuesday the 16th of November, 2010, this post is incomplete. That's what happens when I procrastinate. It's not my fault that this is such a good, free book. Anyway:

My alarm went off at eight-ish on Sunday. I didn't wake up; I wanted to sleep more.

My dad came in at nine and told me that Corinna was waiting for me, so I woke up.

I showered and I think I may have read the Bible, but I definitely skipped my exercises. I do so little that it doesn't matter, anyway.

I packed some extra clothes and a couple of towels. I decided to put my laser in a bag, too, because why not? Also, I packed some sandals because I didn't want to ruin my shoes

I called Corinna. She had thought we would be leaving a lot earlier because I had told her at one point that I would be waking up at six. I had changed my mind the day before and I thought I told her that, but apparently I hadn't.

Before we got in the elevator I asked Corinna why she hadn't packed extra clothes. She said that she didn't mind getting wet in those clothes because they were old then Malaysian sun would dry them out pretty quick anyway.

We got in the car and I drove. We'd agreed beforehand that I would drive there and Corinna would drive back. I got to the toll for the North-South highway in less them then I thought it would take. After that we just drove and talked.

I spent a while the night before putting songs on my phone to listen to on the way there, but Corinna preferred the radio so we listened to that instead. Some good stuff came on, so I didn't mind.

We talked a bit about Mormons and Rastafarians and Jesus and the Catholic church and abortion and teen pregnancy and palm oil and contraceptives and sexual education. There was other stuff, but I forget.

We pulled into the Tapah rest stop for brunch at KFC. Corinna had never eaten KFC before. We each had a snack plate and large wedges and a box of popcorn chicken. Corinna was too full to finish the popcorn chicken, and she couldn't even look at the chicken leftovers so she just covered them with a cloth instead.

We talked about stuff. I asked Corinna when she wanted to have kids and her answer was a very specific 28, but she had no reasons behind it. I thought that was interesting.

We went to the rest of the rest stop so I could get some drinks and candy and so Corinna could try to find a toilet that wasn't a dirty hole in the ground. When we walked to the food court she almost recoiled from the smell. She said it was the worst smell she had ever smelled. It was just dried fish.

I bought a Red Bull and a Coke and some packets of Nano Nano and some Strepsils and a bunch of lollipops. I also got a razor and some glue. Corinna was gone, so I called her and told her to meet me at the car. Apparently the smell had been too much for her and she left.

I gave Corinna a Nano Nano in the car and her reaction was priceless. She reacted exactly the same way that most Malaysians do when I let them try licorice. She said it tasted like vegetables and vanilla. I didn't think it tasted like that at all. She declared it the most disgusting thing she had ever tasted. She still hasn't tried durian. Anyway, when we got back home I gave her a pack to share with her friends in Germany so she could enjoy their reactions like I enjoyed hers.

Gua Tempurung was easy to find. It's fortunate that I had a leadership camp in that area for college earlier this year.

The entrance for wet tours had ended at twelve and it was already twelve-forty, so unfortunately we couldn't go in. Well, Corinna felt pretty fortunate. She has a fear of confined spaces like submarines and space shuttles and tight crawlspaces in caves, so she was glad she wouldn't have to crawl through a subterranean river. I was a bit bummed. I had packed my boardshorts and everything.

We couldn't even go on the longest dry tour because we needed to have five people. I tried to convince three other people to come with us, but they didn't have enough time, so we ended up buying tickets for the 45 minute tour.

My dad called me right before we were supposed to go in at 1pm. I told him where we were and what we were about to do. He told me to drive safe.

The cave was pretty fun. It was quite cave-like, and I was really glad I had brought my laser. The best place for a laser is a cave, really. There were a lot of stairs and it was very humid and there were a lot of people, so we got pretty sweaty.

When we reached the end of the tour, I asked the guide if he could take us further. He said it was fine, but we'd of course have to pay the extra price as if we had gotten the ticket for the "Top of the World" dry tour. I was very pleased with this, because it meant we could stay for another hour and it would only cost three ringgit more each. A small group of other people decided to come with us, too.

The rest of the tour group started going back, but before they did I let a kid play with my laser. I figured I'd've wanted to play with a laser if I was a kid in a cave, so there was no reason to deprive him. Oh yeah, earlier on in the tour some chick asked if Corinna was my wife. I thought that was pretty funny. Corinna's exact reaction when I told her had been "What?".

Anyway, we continued to the tour to the "Top of the World". There was more walking and more stairs, but it got cooler deeper in the cave so it was alright. There was even a breeze at one point.

Eventually we came to this huge cavern that was the end point. It was, indeed, pretty high up. Previously when I had been there they turned off the lights, but the guide told me that they didn't do that any more. He could turn them off at the place with the breeze, though, so that was nice. In the meanwhile I sat with Corinna and tried to find Top of the World on my phone so I could play it and have everything be all appropriate and stuff, but I had deleted the song. I was pretty upset with myself for that.

We turned around and went to the tunnel with the breeze. I tried to talk to Corinna but she told me to be quiet because the total silence in the cave was really nice. I told her that we couldn't hear the silence even if I wasn't talking because the guys behind us always were. She pointed out that they stopped sometimes, but I didn't. She had a point, because after she said that they did for a few minutes and there was silence and it was nice.

The guide turned off the lights. My laser looked really cool in total darkness. I told Corinna to come check it out, but she didn't come.

Someone walked out of the rails to take a picture. I walked out of the rails because I wanted to walk out of the rails. Also, there was a big rock and I wanted to see if I could lift it. I couldn't. I smelled the dirt, but it smelt like the kind of dirt you get on the side of the walls in condominium basement car parks, so it was a bit disappointing.

We left the cave and we were very sweaty. Corinna still smelled nice, though. I asked her why and she said it was because of her Nivea body lotion or something. I asked her how much it was and if they made one for guys. She said yes to both, so now I know what I'm going to buy with my next pay (aside from polo shirts).

We got in the car. Our drinks were warm. We decided to go to a gas station and buy colder ones because we were still thirsty and also because we needed to refill a Touch 'N Go card so we could pay for the tolls. It cost more than RM20 to get from KL to where we were.

After we bought the stuff and I topped up my card, we got back in the car and drove to Cameron highlands. It was further down the highway than we remembered it being.

Okay, it's almost nine o'clock here at the office. I'll continue this post tomorrow.

Okay, it's tomorrow.

While driving up to Cameron Highlands, I spotted the Sufes campground, which brought back some memories of Writer's Camp many years ago and a BB camp less many years ago. A little ahead of that, I saw a sign for Kuala Woh, and I knew that that was where we had to go.

I missed the turning at first because it was on the wrong side of the road, but I found a place to turn around a little ways down. The road to Kuala Woh was not as well-maintained as the main road up to the Highlands, which made sense.

I sounded the horn as I approached a big turn in the road and explained to Corinna why. It was so that people on the other side would know I was coming so they'd slow down and stick to their side and there wouldn't be an accident.

We parked at Kuala Woh and I'm not sure how I got in my swimming pants. I think I asked Corinna to go wait by the river first.

Anyway, I went down and met her. She thought the water was dirty. I walked around in it for a bit until I found what I was looking for, and I called her over.

Hot springs are cool, especially ones along rivers because then you get the contrast of the cool river water rushing by but the hot spring water bubbling through the sand at your feet. I forgot what Corinna's reaction was but I think she was at least slightly impressed.

I put my shirt with my bag and tried to walk through the river to the other side, but I underestimated the current and was pushed a short way downstream. I hit a lot of rocks, but I didn't get seriously injured. When the water got deeper and calmer I found my footing and walked up to shore and started digging on the hot sand.

The spring water is hotter if you just dig for it because then it doesn't mix with the water from the river and get cooled down. I put a rock in the hole that I dug to heat it up. It got pretty hot pretty fast.

I talked to some Indian guys who asked where I was from and where Corinna was from. They were okay.

I waded across to the other side of the river and started digging again. I called Corinna over and got her to hold a hot rock that I had put in a hole. I think she dropped it and swore. That was funny.

I told her that I didn't want to leave until she had at least gotten her calves wet, because it was silly to come all the way out to the river and not swim in it. It took me a while to realize that she wasn't reluctant to get wet, she was reluctant to get dirty. I have to admit, the water did look kinda nasty.

I noticed a bridge over the river and how wobbly it was and I said we could leave if she went on that with me, but she didn't want to do that, either. Eventually she caved and went in the water. I took another refreshing dip and then told her that we could go, but first I wanted to shake the bridge. I ran up and shook the bridge. It was not as wobbly as it looked. It was hardly exciting.

I went back to Corinna and told her to wait by the bank for a bit while I got changed in the car. I said I'd miscall her when I was done.

She walked to the car before I miscalled her, but I already had my pants on. I asked her why she hadn't waited and she said that nobody takes that long to change. I told her the car was cramped and asked what if she saw me changing. She just did that thing where she blows air through her lips in exasperation. I dropped the subject.

We got back on the road and started driving again. Corinna told me about the dead fish she saw, and also about the dead cat she saw. Kuala Woh had quite a few dead things. Hannah and Jan and my mum went there once and there was a dead snake. Well, it was alive when they got there, but it crawled in the engine and so that's why the car makes a funny noise when it goes too fast.

And that is all I'll write about for today. I like this, pacing my blogging. I'm afraid that, by the time I get around to writing about the long conversation about sex that we had on the way back, I will have forgotten most of the details. The fact is, though, that I already have, and besides I told her that I wouldn't tell anyone until she left the country. If I do tell someone before she goes, she gets to tell everyone something that I'd rather not have everyone hear about that she knows.

I'll continue this after work tomorrow. Shit, after tomorrow there'll only be Friday. That's only two days to write about the next... five hours? Dang.

And it's after tomorrow again. Here we go.

So we were back on the road going up Cameron Highlands, and we were talking about stuff. It was a long road. It was very curvy. There were a lot of dogs on it. It was difficult to overtake people. On two occasions there were fallen branches blocking the road and I had to drive on the wrong lane to get past them. On one of the occasions I scratched the car against it pretty badly.

I can't remember what we talked about. I guess it's for the best. I've lost the inspiration to write this post. It was perhaps not the best idea to spread it over so many days. Oh well, might as well finish it for the sake of finishing it.

Um, at one point on the way to Batu Caves we talked about Corinna's friends and why her friend who slept with basically anyone would not sleep with Asians. I don't know why I remembered that or why I'm putting that here and up the story a few dozen paragraphs where it belongs, but there you go. Anyway, back to the part in the story where we're going up the curvy road.

We passed the cloudbank and kept going. It was quite high up. We rolled down the windows and the air was cool. That was nice. Eventually we saw a really big strawberry and we were in Cameron Highlands.

There was a town and we followed the road and we came across a big brownish-orange lake. Next to it was the Lakeview Hotel. It looked like Europe. We parked and got out and took pictures, then we went in to get a map from reception. Corinna went to use the toilet and I sat down in a very comfortable chair in front of a fire place and wished that I lived there. On our way out we saw someone taking scones and tea to a room. That hotel is now one of my favourite places in Malaysia. It even had a typewriter.

We checked the map and drove down the road to a tea house which overlooked a tea plantation. The tea plantation was vast and cool and beautiful. I ate some scones and had some strawberry tea while Corinna ate a slice of carrot cake and drank some plain tea. I thought it was a bit pointless to go all the way there to drink normal tea, but oh well.

I washed my hands and even the water felt like Europe. It was so cold and nice. I really like Cameron Highlands.

We went for a walk in the tea plantation. On our way in, two Dutch tourists passed us, so in addition to the trees, the smell, the temperature, and the air, for a brief moment it sounded like Holland, too. That was nice.

There was a sign that forbade people from plucking the tea leaves, so I plucked a sprig of pine or something instead. It was from I tree that I didn't see much elsewhere but it smelled very nice. I dropped it halfway through our walk and I was sad because it really did smell nice.

We talked about how I had told the girls I liked that I liked them. I think Corinna said that I shouldn't do that any more. I can't remember, though.

We took some pictures in the tea. I tried to climb up a hill but I didn't get very far. I got quite wet from all the dew and such on the leaves. It was quite drizzly.

After we got out of the tea plantation we drove back down to try and find a strawberry place, but they were closed. I pulled over across from the Lakeview Hotel and let Corinna drive.

On the way down we talked about sex. Midway through the conversation, Corinna told me that if I told anyone anything she'd said, she'd kill me. I told her that I wouldn't say anything until she left the country. She said that was alright. I told her something embarrassing about myself so if I betrayed her trust then she could betray mine.

I learned a lot about sex during that drive. I really wish I lived in Germany. Malaysia seems so boring. And the women are pretty sexually repressed here; Corinna was shocked to find that none of my friends had ever masturbated or experienced an orgasm and they all thought oral sex was gross. (I'm going to go ahead and assume that I'm allowed to talk about Corinna's reactions to what I said. That could lead to trouble. I should probably cut this short.)

The rain got worse and the sky got dark and our windows started to fog up. It was difficult to see out of them due to all the condensation, and we struggled with that for the rest of the drive. Corinna got pretty upset with the windshield for being so crap.

On the way down, I took out my laser and shined it out the window of the car and that was fun. I couldn't hit any of the nearby mountains with the beam, but I didn't mind.

We talked about vibrators and pornography and (loss of) virginity and Corinna's "type" and herpes and contraceptives and many many other things that nobody else would talk to me about so that was nice. I'd list more but I'm probably already to close to saying something I shouldn't, so I'll stop. Also I can't really remember much of the conversation.

We got back home and I said goodnight to Corinna and think I went on the computer for a bit and then I went to bed. I'm not sure. I know I felt quite depressed and lonely for some reason that night. That tends to happen after I spend a lot of time with people and then I suddenly stop being around them. The transition usually isn't so quick and it usually isn't after spending only one day with a person.

Oh well.

Hey, I'm done.

Actually, I'm not. We also went to Pizza Hut after we got back to the city but before we got home. Corinna was happy because she had been craving pizza all day. She'd never eaten in Pizza Hut before. We ordered too much food and I had a slice of pizza and it was good. I liked it. We didn't finish everything we ordered and Corinna wanted to pay for me, but I didn't want to let a girl pay for my meal so we split the bill. She ended up paying more but then again I did eat a lot less.

Okay now I think I'm done.

Nobody Ever Thinks About Me

The title is hyperbole. Still, I'm hardly feeling extremely happy right now.

So today I had my "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien" alarm set for 7:42am, and then I had "I Feel Fantastic" set for 7:50am. This way I could be roused out of a deeper sleep by my first alarm, then (because it is a relatively gentle song), I could sleep through it until my second alarm went off so I could get ready for the day.

Just my luck, then, that my dad woke us all up at 7:40am by turning off the air conditioning and fan and opening the curtains. Ian got out of bed first, which meant that instead of plenty of time to get ready by virtue of being the first one up, I would have to wait for Ian and Jan to get ready first and then rush to get ready before 8:30am. If only my dad would have waited ten more bloody minutes, then my morning would have been perfect.

Anyway, I got up and read my Bible while waiting for everyone to get done. Jan took his own sweet time, but I still managed to be ready to go right before 8:30am because I didn't have any contact lenses to put in.

Ian and my dad went in one car to breakfast while the rest of us (and Ebony) went in my mum's. Someone else had ordered the food while I went to buy a copy of the NST and some gum to stay awake in church, so I didn't get any extra hash browns and the order hadn't really been optimized. Oh well, at least my McMuffin was free of cheese and also very fresh and delicious.

After McDonald's, everyone except Susanna, Jan, and my mum went back with my dad because my mum was taking a longer route so she could pick up Aunty Catherine. Along the way I talked about why I was so upset about yesterday, but then my dad interjected and talked for fifteen minutes about mass communication or something, and then I finally got tired of listening and asked if I could have my say so I could finish what I was saying, then Ian got upset and swore at me in front of Ebony and Hannah and my dad. I was being quite an obnoxious shit, though, so you can't blame him entirely for it. I think a 85/15 split (majority Ian) is reasonable.

Anyway, church was quite empty due to the holidays or something. I got to be in charge of the projections. I did the word jumble during my down time. I would have continued with the jumble, but my mum was giving the sermon so I went outside to show I was listening. I found that our church has new Bibles, the second version of the NLT. After the sermon I asked my mum to get me one for Christmas since it's got an infobox before each book and also because it's quite a bit easier to read. Oh yeah, I also need to tithe double next week because the ushers were going out for collection instead of having us come to them, but they didn't come to me in the projectionist room so I couldn't give my RM5. I tried signalling them but they are children so they didn't notice.

While at church I had decided I was going to sleep really early, so I scheduled in my phone to blog at six and exercise and shower at seven so I could be in bed by eight so I could still have plenty of rest before I woke up at five to get ready for work. I'd also hopefully have time for another McDonald's breakfast.

After church we went to visit my grandparents who were over at my aunt's place. Ian and I went with my dad first and the rest of the family was to show up later. There wasn't anyone there at first except for Cinta, so I played with her for a bit until Uncle Simon showed up. He told me to be careful with Cinta because she had hurt her paw, so I stopped playing so rough with her. A little later Dexter showed up and Ian and I told him about our jobs. Then my aunt Mina came out and then she left with her husband to go somewhere for a while and Dexter went to say bye.

Soon my grandpa came out and my dad told us to ask him about his war stories, so we did. My granddad has a lot of good stories, but he doesn't really tell them often. When the History Channel did a documentary on the Malayan Emergency, they interviewed a bunch of my granddad's friends for the documentary, but he declined to be interviewed because he didn't want to travel all the way to KL, and I guess he's modest or something. All that aside, he's also still bound by the official secrets act, but if the government wants to go after him for such a trivial offence after all he's done for this country then Malaysia is a much shittier place than I thought.

Anyway, an example of one such story that he never tells is when he was in a squad of four people and this British guy was supposed to cover his back. However, the Brit failed to notice a communist sniper in a tree, and so the sniper took a shot at my grandfather. Fortunately for the two most recent generations of my family, the gun misfired. It wasn't very fortunate for the sniper, though, since my grandfather turned around and shot him after that. The British guy would have gotten in deep shit with his superiors if it had gotten out that my he failed to watch my grandfather's back, so he bribed my grandpa not to tell anyone, and he didn't. He didn't even tell us, we had to hear it from my dad.

Anyway we talked to my grandfather and we talked among each other as well. I heard about how my grandfather had interrogated Dexter's girlfriend last night and how my other cousin lives in fear of my granddad meeting his girlfriends. Daryl came out and talked for a while before he went to his open house. Wicket (or Wicked. I'm not really sure which and he responds to both, so it doesn't matter) came out, too, so I played with him for a bit.

Here are doggie pictures:







I got a miscall from a withheld number, which worried me because it might have been about work. I called Sean but he hadn't heard anything. My dad called the house and he found that they were leaving soon. I called the house to ask Hannah to bring my swimming trunks and my sandals. Things winded down after that and they were supposed to arrive in twenty minutes or so, so I took a nap on a chair outside while waiting. My dad woke me up to tell me to go inside to nap, so I did.

When I woke up again, it was five o'clock and Ian and my dad had already gone home. My mum was rushing me to get in the car and I didn't even get to say goodbye to the dogs. I was upset because nobody woke me up to even check if I wanted to swim. It seemed so stupid that they would just assume that when my swimming trunks finally arrived I would just want to continue napping. I got very upset. Hannah apparently had wanted to wake me up to tell me they were there, but she didn't; instead she got changed and jumped in the pool and asked for someone to wake me up but nobody heard her and she didn't follow up. Also apparently Wicket jumped in the pool and swam with them for a while, so I missed that too.

So the drive home was hardly pleasant. I got on the computer and started blogging at around 6:30 (you'll know exactly when, just check the timestamp on this. That's the time at the start of composition, not the time of posting.) so I was already behind schedule, and then there was a hassle about whether Ian or I would go out to buy dinner and where we'd buy it from and what we'd buy and stuff that ended with me very upset and my parents talked to me for a while and then I took a break for twenty minutes to calm down and then I talked to my dad and now we're done and it's almost 8:10 and I'm barely done with this blog post, so I'm an hour behind. I think I'll probably end up in bed at around ten or something. Bleh.

Oh well, at least I get nuggets for dinner. I hope they remembered the barbecue sauce.

Oh yeah, Milan (and the rest of you guys, but Milan is who ctrl+Fs), I told all last night's secrets to Hannah; I hope that's okay. I don't think there's an overlap between people my sister knows and people that you know. Her friend Ebony was also in the room but Ebony is very quiet and there is even less overlap, so you should be fine. Also I got no Facebook messages or wall-to-wall stuff from you so I'm assuming that last night's post checked out in terms of not revealing any secrets.

Resident Evil: Afterlife and Nick's Farewell Party

Oh man I am so tired. This post is probably going to be riddled with errors, both factual and grammatical, which sucks because it's probably going to be one of the more popular ones that I've written recently. I'll try to keep it short. Here goes.

I woke up at 10:30 on Saturday, which I shall refer to as today throughout the rest of this post, if I do refer to the day at all. I started my day with the typical stuff: daily Bible reading, shower, etc, etc. I was on the computer until two, and then my dad lectured me and my brothers about spark plugs for some reason. I think he said it was because we are driving our own cars now so we need to know how they work so we know how to fix them. I suspect he was just preparing us so we could change his spark plugs tomorrow or something.

After that Hannah had Audrey and Ebony over for some reason. Ian wanted to go watch a movie. I thought that was a good idea. The girls wanted to go to 1 Utama instead of Mid Valley because they wanted to shop there or something. Jan wanted to come along, too.

We checked the screening times online, and both Step Up 3D and Resident Evil: Afterlife were showing within a reasonable amount of time. I wanted to watch one of them since they used proper stereoscopic 3D instead of that post-production bullshit that Alice in Wonderland and Clash of the Titans tried to pull. I'd explain it, but I'm pretty sure I've explained it before and I'm also pretty sure I'd screw it up if I tried to explain it while I was this tired.

Ian said he was going to watch Afterlife with Jared that evening, so he'd prefer if we watched Step Up. I didn't feel like sitting through a crappy romance plot for awesome 3D dancing, so I convinced Jan to join me to sit through a crappy post-apocalyptic plot for awesome 3D zombie-and-faceless-goon killing action.

The plan was that Ian and I would take separate cars to 1 Utama, then after the movie he would drive the girls and Jan back home while I would go to Nick's farewell party. When we were walking down to the cars, I thought Jan was going to travel with Ian and the girls were going to come with me, since I would be driving the larger car, but Jan said he called shotgun for my car or some bullshit and Hannah didn't want to travel with Jan and also the girls didn't want to travel without Hannah so the girls ended up going with Ian and Jan ended up going with me.

I thought our first stop was going to be McDonald's because it was nearing the end of 2 o'clock and the lunch discount would soon be over so we'd better eat at the Bangsar McD's before we went to 1 Utama because we could eat cheap and also because I could stop by the optometrist's store to check if they were open so I could order my contact lenses. The opometrist was not open. Stupid Hari Raya holidays. Anyway, Jan and I went to McDonald's and I ordered myself a McNuggets meal with two additional packets of large fries because I had told the girls I would buy some fries for them to share and also because I was super hungry. Jan had a triple cheeseburger that I had to goad him into buying. The girls didn't show up because they went straight to 1 Utama because they don't know how to inform people about changes in plans and because they don't think logically and because bleh.

I called Ian to see what the deal was, and he told me they were eating in Burger King and the girls suddenly didn't want to watch a movie and neither did he so Jan and I shouldn't show up. I told him I'd call Jared and tell Jared to watch Step Up 3D with Ian in the evening so he could watch Afterlife with Jan and me while the girls shopped. Jared wasn't answering his phone, so I think I tried to call Hannah and Ian to update them on the situation but neither of them was picking up, so I called Audrey, but for as much as I enjoy her presence she is thick as fuck and did not relay a single word of what I said to Ian. I told her that Jan and I would be coming over to watch the movie and so they would have to stay so Jan could have transport back after the movie, but like I said Audrey is really vapid so Ian did not get any of what I said. It's my fault, really. Should have texted him; never trust a woman to do a few words' work.

After we finally finished our food and hearing a pretty awesome cover of Tik Tok on McD FM, Jan and I left for 1 Utama. This was around 3:30pm. We arrived at the parking place near the park (do you know where it is? Yes? No? I don't care.) and Jan spotted Ian's car. I wanted to leave a message on it, but I had no pens or paper, so we just plucked a bunch of flowers and dumped them on his windscreen. It was pretty funny at the time, and the time was then 4:00pm.

In the mall I went to TGV thinking it was GSC and that wasted five minutes, then we went over the escalator to GSC and we decided that I would look for an ATM while Jan stood in line for the tickets. I found an ATM quite quickly (I love 1U's touchscreen map thingy), and since there was a gift shop nearby I decided to pop in to find something for Nick. I took the risk-free route and got him a notebook.

I went up to GSC and saw Jan in the line. I wanted to call him up and then sneak up behind him while he was on the phone with me, but every time I dialled his number he tried to call me, so I couldn't get through to him. Eventually he spotted me, so I joined him in line. When we got to the counter there were, like, four tickets left for the 4:15pm showing of Afterlife since it was already 4:15, and all of them were shitty and separated. Jan and I both got tickets aisles apart in the same column (the furthest one to the right).

We ran to the cinema and arrived in the middle of maybe the first trailer. It was the really orange and blue one with Sigourney Weaver and Kristen Bell (She's the Kristen that isn't Bella, yeah?). We also saw the trailer to Devil, which Jan somehow thought looked like a decent film. Foolish boy. Anyway, I got the guy next to me to switch places with Jan, even though it turned out that he was previously sitting behind a group of friends. I bet those friends gave him hell afterwards for that, since I was a rather obnoxious moviegoer and I must've ruined their experience. I'd hate to sit next to me. Oh well, at least Jan and I were together.

During the trailers Jan got a call from Ian. Apparently he had already driven home with the girls because Audrey had told him nothing (stupid girl. Nice girl, fun to talk to, good friend to my sister, somewhat intelligent but very stubborn when wrong [and when right], charismatic, but still sometimes very, very stupid.) so Jan had to find his own way back. I told him that I'd drive him, because I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I was late to Nick's party, even though I had told him that I might be arriving early.

Resident Evil: Afterlife was fun. I won't call it a good movie, but I enjoyed it and I enjoyed the 3D (even if they did do some things wrong like mess with the clarity and set it in the dark) and I enjoyed the zombies and the action sequences, though highly derivative, were good mindless fun so I enjoyed them, too. It was RM17 well spent. Don't bother with the movie if you're not watching it in 3D, though. Also there's something after the credits, so stay around for that.

After the movie, we went back to the car so I could I drive Jan home. When we got to the car we found flowers all over our windscreen. Ian had gotten his revenge, somehow, but it wasn't over yet. Anyway, I removed the flowers and brought Jan back. Along the way I stopped at 7-Eleven to buy some Eclipse mints because my backpack is out of super effective mints. All I have are my emergency/celebratory orange tic-tacs, but I don't think I'm ever going to open those. Anyway I bought the Eclipse and that brought my total spending for the day up to RM60, somehow. They're still in the car. I need to get them before Hannah eats them all. She'll do it because when it comes to mints she is greedy and wasteful and to make it worse she does not even have bad breath except for morning breath so she doesn't even need them 90% of the time.

I had used Google Earth to find Nick's address, and the directions I had worked so well, but they all relied on me finding the right turn-in. I spent half an hour looking for that turn-in. I called Carmeni and she tried to direct me there, but in the end she got me in to Taman Ehsan, but the wrong part of it. I found a large field and called for directions again, and this time she passed me to Nick who guided me to his house which was closer than I thought.

Okay now for the bit that everyone has come here to read about. I'll mention all your names here so that you can find this easily with ctrl+F: Milan, Carmeni, Nicholas (Nic, Nick, Nicholas Rodriguez, etc), Amanda, Davinia. Was there anyone else? I hope not, because if there was then my memory is seriously terrible.

So I arrived at Nicholas' house. I parked nearby and walked over and said hi to Carmeni and Nick who were sitting outside. One of Nick's friends had arrived at the same time as me, and she was meeting Carmeni for the first time. I later told her that Carmeni's family still didn't know that she was dating Nick, so she should consider herself lucky to get an introduction, even if it was five years overdue. Anyway, Nick showed us around the house and introduced us to relatives and his mum and her brownies. The brownies were delicious. His mum was friendly. I don't remember his relatives and they won't remember me. I think I may have met his dad, but that might just have been one of his older relatives.

I talked with Nicholas and his friend who arrived at the same time as me for a while. Nick's mum brought out the food but nobody ate anything because the relatives were watching Man U thrash some other club and I did not want to be the first person to start eating. There was a lot of alcohol, too, but I was driving so I restrained myself from sampling the free booze. I could have slept in the car since my church was right nearby, but I had the large-capacity car so if I was sleeping in it the rest of my family would have no way of getting there the next morning. I drank orange cordial instead. There may have been Sprite in it, too, I couldn't really tell.

Amanda and Davinia and Milan arrived. I assumed they all took the same car. I think that Milan and Amanda were actually in one car while Davinia was in another. Anyway they all arrived at exactly the same time so they could've fooled me. I was not greeted with the enthusiasm I had imagined, but then again I wasn't too enthusiastic in my greeting, either.

Amanda was starving so she went straight for the food, which meant that everyone else could start eating, too. I put rice and vegetables on my plate and I got chided for not trying the curry. I said I would try the curry later. I don't like curry. It doesn't agree with my palate and it doesn't agree with my stomach. I like Carmeni and her boyfriend and his mother and her brownies, so I figured I'd avoid offending them (except the brownies; they can't be offended, obviously, since they're only delicious inanimate objects) by procrastinating with the curry and figuring out a diplomatic solution later. Oh yeah, some fried chicken showed up on the table and that was really really really good and I had loads of that since it was probably the tastiest thing I ate all day. Nick's mum really knows how to cook.

The atmosphere was like this: there were neighbours playing with fireworks and every time they'd go off, Davinia would flinch. I had my phone in my pocket and I had taken it out to show Nick's friend the World Happiness Index since she said that Netherlands was the happiest place on earth or something, but she wasn't around when I found the image so I showed it to Carmeni, and then after a while I showed Amanda and the rest that California Gurls and Tik Tok were the same song, and then after that I left it on random for pretty much the rest of the night. Also, Milan, Amanda, Davinia, Carmeni, and I stayed seated in mostly the same place with Nick stopping by occasionally to converse with us.

The conversation only really got interesting at around eleven, but that leaves a three hour gap since I arrived at eight (well, seven-forty but let's say eight) so I'm not really sure what we talked about before that. I know we started by talking about what happened last night and how everyone went out to go clubbing and they forgot to invite me. That last link feels like the appropriate soundtrack to that particular conversation, aside from that it had nothing to do with anything so feel free to ignore it (you've probably ignored the others, if you're even still reading. Don't worry, I don't mind). Anyway we also talked about the Bible for a bit. I gave a brief summary of Christianity to Davinia and Milan, but they didn't know enough about their own religions to explain theirs to me. I then went on to talk about sex in the Bible and my personal favourite 18+ Bible story. I got some details wrong but whatever. While I was explaining it, Amanda had an epiphany about some Catholic thing, so good for her. Was there anything else before I get to the good stuff? I can't remember.

Anyway after that, starting at around eleven, we talked about other people. Mostly we talked about other people at college. It was gossip, and it was all news to me. Apparently nobody ever gossiped with me for the whole year I was in college because they assumed I would either tell other people or put in on my blog. This was very likely a correct assumption. Still, it meant that the whole time everything I knew about everyone was only good stuff because nobody wanted so say anything bad about anyone else in front of me because they knew that the people they were talking about would find out through me and then drama would begin. So I never knew anything and I ended my Foundation in Science thinking that I was lucky enough to have friends who never talked behind the backs of others and all got along super well and stuff. Ignorance really was bliss. After eleven o'clock is when I got to hear all this stuff that had previously been kept secret from me. Unfortunately for those of you hoping I will continue to uphold my reputation as a person unable to keep anything private, I was told I couldn't tell anything from the conversations that night aside from the Bible story stuff to anyone. I forgot who made me promise. It was probably Davinia but I'm going to say Milan because then he'll arrive at this paragraph when he ctrl+Fs himself. Actually I'm not sure if I even did promise. I'm going to assume I didn't because I hate promises. But anyway there was a lot of stuff that came out, all sorts of drama and bad talk about people not present (and some who were, I guess) and Milan didn't know about most of it either. In the end we agreed that I was more naive than him, though.

It's no secret that people talk behind each others' backs, right? I'm under the impression right now that that was only a secret from me, and that was only because I never asked. I wouldn't've been told anyway. But yeah, I'm glad I heard what I heard but I'm frustrated that I can't talk about it here. I was going to write it and then encode it with a substitution cipher so that I (and people who I gave the keyword to and also people smart and bored enough to bruteforce it) could read it later, but I couldn't find a decent app for free at this hour. Maybe next post.

Carmeni, Da, Milan, 'Manda, Nick, hit me up on Facebook if I've said too much. I don't think I have but it's 4am so maybe I missed something.

"Hit me up"? Who even says that? Is that even a phrase? I need to sleep very very soon or who knows what nonsense I'll say next. Okay, let's finish the party.

Amanda went home with Milan a little before twelve and Davinia went back at around the same time. Carmeni had gone home a bit sooner with her uncle. Did I mention her sister was at the party? Her sister was at the party. I didn't say a word to her because I was unsure if Carmeni was joking when she said she was her sister and I spent the next few hours trying to figure out whether she was or not until I finally got my answer when she got in the car with Carmeni to leave.

I tried some wild boar with curry. It was delicious but so so so spicy. This was before the conversation, though. Oh yeah I also gave Nick his present. I'm not sure what he thought of it; I never saw him take it out of the bag. Back to people leaving:

I said goodbye to Nick's mum and complimented her fried chicken one last time (it really was really good), and then I said goodbye to Nick, and then I got in the car and drove back. On the second last traffic light before my house I saw an advertisement for an "Adult Sex Toy" hanging on a poll, so I went out and tried to remove it while waiting for the light. I managed to tear it in half, but it was the half that said "Adult". The light turned green and I gave it one final yank that removed the "Sex Toy" bit which I ran back to the car with before driving off. When I got home I put it on Ian's car's windscreen. When he finds it later on today (for it is already almost 4:15am on Sunday morning), he shall agree that I have won this one.

That's about it, really. After this post I'll do my exercises and take a shower and turn on the torrents and then I'll go to bed and then I'll have to wake up near the end of seven o'clock and get ready for church and then chew a lot of gum so I don't fall asleep during the sermon and then take a long nap.

What else can I write here to finish with? Audrey is a good person but when she does stupid things it really annoys me, so I like Ebony more. I learned a lot more about all my friends today, except for Amanda and Davinia. I only learned a little more about them, specifically that Amanda is still very fun when drunk and Davinia... wait never mind, I said I wouldn't say. It's a small thing anyway. I found out that my either friends either gossip or are not quite the same people that they seem to be around me. I much prefer the gossip thing. Oh yeah! I also found out why Jacob Black shaves and Edward Cullen does not. That... that's about as good a thing to end with as I'll get, I guess. Have a nice day, everyone.

P.S. I just remembered that Amanda told me (in the nicest, sincerest, best-meaning way possible), that sometimes I freak her out. This was after I suggested we go to that spooky abandoned place between HELP and the street to kill time before her curfew. Wait, was it freak her out? Maybe it was creep her out. Or scare. Or spook. Or a synonym to one of those words. Anyway if I'm going to learn something from today, it is going to be something from there. And on this note I will end unless I have something else to add.

Fixed a Leak with a Lie

The secret I am keeping is of much greater magnitude than I previously believed. A lot of people who I thought would know actually don't, which means that keeping this quiet is even more important. Once I found this out, I told Carmeni that it turns out I had heard a false rumor and that there actually was no secret. She bought it, so now I don't have to worry about any more questions from her. She was suspecting it to be something else about someone else anyway, so I think that the secret's safe for now. I hope I forget about it soon. I won't be able to tell anyone I'm keeping a secret if I forget I have a secret.

Five classes today, all of them were okay.

I got more homework in EMA. I don't know when I'll do them, but it will have to be sometime before Thursday, because that's when our last quiz is.

We learned about Science and Pseudoscience in CTS. That was interesting.

I had McDonald's for lunch. It wasn't worth what I paid. The twister fries are a very clever marketing ploy that I fall for every time.

The ATM said there was a problem with my card, but I couldn't get through to the bank when I called them.

We did an experiment involving the refraction of light in Physics. It was cool.

I watched some presentations for Advanced English.

I went to Moral Studies class before everyone else arrived, went to sleep, and woke up a little after class started. There weren't many people there today.

I went to the bank after college to see about my card. It worked fine when I got there. That was odd.

A Second Chance

Today I learned of another secret that I can't let the lecturers know. This time I'm going to make sure I keep my mouth shut. It's nice that I was one of the first to know, though.

Anyway, we had Engineering Mathematics Applications class in Donut Empire today. I had five donuts, but Mr. Joel managed to pay for them somehow. Fortunately, mine weren't the only donuts he paid for. Adrian and Sue Ann also didn't have a chance to pay for their pastries, and neither did Sue Ann's boyfriend or his buddy. Mr. Joel told us to use the money we had saved to bless other people, since it is better to give than to receive. I'm not sure what I'll do with my RM6. If anyone's reading this and wants some fries or something, I guess this is your chance to get some for free.

In Physics today I learned about light and how you can bend and slow it. It's pretty awesome. With a high enough refractive index or a large enough distance (or a combination of both), you could set up a mirror in such a way that when you look into it, you will see the past. It would require seventy-five thousand kilometers of material with a refractive index of ten for a five-second delay, but still. Pretty awesome thought. Of course, you could achieve much the same result but just hooking up a camera to a monitor and setting a delay, but that's cheating somewhat, and it's probably already been done.

We had presentations in English. I was timekeeper. Alysha was absent because she was sick or something. I hope she still has a chance to present. I told her to text Mr. Dharminder and tell him he was sick, so hopefully he'll show some mercy.

Between classes I taunted Carmeni with my secret and helped her out with her group's presentation on HIV/AIDS for Moral Studies.

When I was done for the day I went to lunch with Denise. Well, that was the plan, anyway, but I got sidetracked for a while talking to Amanda and Davinia, and when I went back to find Denise she had already left to McDonald's. I managed to intercept her right at the table, but then I realized I wasn't in the mood for McD's so I asked where Jia Yin was having lunch and went off to find her.

When I got to Ali Maju's I sat next to Jia Yin and a bunch of people she had just befriended that day. I was also sitting next to two girls from another college, but I didn't know that yet. I asked them if they were taking Foundation in Science or Arts and they told me that they weren't in HELP. I asked them if they were with Jia Yin and her friends and they said they weren't, they were just sharing the table. After that we got to talking and I had a nice conversation with them about our parents and our colleges and our schedules and studies and the food in Pusat Bandar Damansara and stuff. When they left I was only able to remember one of their names, Joanne. If I see the other one I will be in quite an awkward spot. Also I'm pretty sure that's not how Joanne's name is spelt. Anyway, talking to strangers is fun and I highly recommend it.

After lunch I sat in for Elo and Carmeni's Moral Studies class to help them with their AIDS presentation. They ended up stopping only six minutes into what should have been a fifteen-minute presentation, but aside from that and some factual and explanatory errors on their part, it was pretty good. I think they'll get more than 7/10. I find it hard to believe that Elo didn't know what latex was, though. Has she never been in a 7/11 before or something? Also, Carmeni didn't know what sheep gut condoms were made from (Hint: It is exactly what it sounds like).

It was raining again when I rode home. Third Monday in a row.

When I got home I called Effie to see if she was free on Friday. She said that she was broke and she would have to check with her mom to make sure they wouldn't be out-of-town on vacation that day or something. I said okay, and then I took a nap. When I woke up it was late. I went on the computer to blog and stuff, and now it is later.

I have two presentations on Thursday I haven't prepared anything. I'm planning to do that tonight. I've also got to do the review exercises for three EMA programmes. I am going to either be up late tonight, or shit is going to get procrastinated.

Secrets, Smoking, and Stuff

So today was very interesting. Most of the paragraphs here are not, though, so feel free to skim to the good bits. Also, the second word in the title is purely for alliteration. There are only like three sentences on it in this entire story.

It's been a week since my second motorcycle accident. On the way to school I kept the bike revved at the lights and kept my eyes on the road ahead the whole time. It worked, and I got to school without any problems.

I usually have two classes every Monday: an English class at eight and a Physics class at eleven. Today I also had a replacement Engineering Mathematics Applications class at 10:10 and a replacement Critical Thinking Skills class at two o'clock.

I arrived about half an hour early and decided to check if anyone I knew was at school yet. I didn't find anyone to talk to while I was walking down the corridor, so I wet my hair, found a mirror, and wasted some time by playing with my fringe to see if I was capable of pulling off an emo look. I was not. I kept the hair anyway, since it wouldn't take long to dry.

I met Carmeni in the hall and we talked for a while. The conversation was about the best place to sit and what I had come early to college to do. Carmeni said that my plan was ridiculous. I said it was the best way to move on. Ten minutes before class I decided to roam the hall again to see who I would run in to.

Juria was in the upper foyer with some friends waiting for her statistics class to start. I tried to figure out the statistics homework for a while, but I am just not that great with math when all the equations are upside down and the formulas are things I have never heard of. At one point someone said that statistics was cancelled that morning, and the information was confirmed a little later by three texts saying the same thing. At eight o'clock everyone started leaving for their classes, but I stayed around to hear Juria tell her story of how her birthday went and for another reason that will be mentioned a few paragraphs down.

Juria's birthday was awesome, apparently. Meeting Boys Like Girls and getting the lead singer's wristband as a present on the eve of her birthday on Friday night was just the beginning of the story. The second half happened the next day but was so mind-blowing that Juria told me to promise twice not to tell anyone what she told me, with the exception of my sister and people who she had already told, which turned out to be quite a large list. But more on that later.

By the time I was done processing what I had just heard and the magnitude of the secrets I had to keep, I was more than half an hour late for class. Once fifteen minutes had passed my attendance mark was as good as gone, so I decided to stay on a little longer and finally do what I should have done sometime during my first semester.

So I told Juria that I liked her. She told me that she already knew, and had known for about a month or so thanks to my blog and Facebook notes. I been anticipating a reaction be more along the lines of rejection and avoidance, so it was a nice surprise to see how cool she was about the whole thing. Of course she wasn't interested, but I had never imagined the outcome of that conversation as anything along those lines anyhow, so that went much better than expected, even though things are pretty much the same.

I remember surprisingly little of that conversation. It happened a little more than half a day ago and I can somehow only remember the gist of things. It's odd, since I'm pretty sure that her eighteenth birthday story was the best birthday story I had ever heard and that the talk after that was the first time I've ever told a girl face-to-face that I liked her. I guess memories don't form that great when you're only getting four hours of sleep every night.

I left the foyer when there was still half an hour left in my class. I figured showing my face was better than not appearing at all, since I could schedule a replacement class and such. The lecturer asked why I was so late and I told him I didn't have any good excuses. The class ended fifteen minutes early and he told me that I could sit for a class tomorrow to replace the one hour that I missed, and I'd still get full attendance. That was pretty awesome. What wasn't so awesome was when I checked my schedule and saw that that one hour was my only break the whole day, and so now I had back-to-back classes from eight am to five pm. Wonderful.

I went back to the foyer to see if Juria had told anyone else, since generally the more people that know a secret the less exciting it is, and the less exciting it is the easier it is to keep. A lot more people knew, but the secrets were not any less exciting or any more easy to keep. Oh well, at least I had more people that I could talk to about it if I ever got overwhelmed by the urge to blab.

Everyone's classes started again at nine thirty, so I left the upper foyer to see if any of my friends were in the hall so I could let them know that I was keeping the biggest and awesomest secret I had ever kept in my life, because what's the point of keeping an awesome secret unless everyone knows that you're keeping an awesome secret so they can be jealous of your position as a person who is privy to such information. When they (when I say they I mean mostly Carmeni and Elo) started asking what the secret was about I started to regret telling them about it, but I decided I wouldn't be breaking my promise if (1) I didn't tell them anything that wasn't already public knowledge, (2) I only told them which guesses were false so they didn't think that it was something terrible or less awesome than it was, and (3), I kept silent or refused to answer if they asked me something where the answer would be a "yes", since that would be giving away part of the secret and count as breaking the promise. They left for class before they could learn anything beyond some Taylor Swift trivia.

I called my sister right after that to tell her as much as I could before I had to get to my 10:10 EMA replacement class. Rushing the conversation on the phone was a bit pointless, though, since the class started at around 10:30. All four of us were waiting outside early, and we talked about cockroaches and the college's past as a parking garage.

Engineering Math wasn't terribly interesting. I guess the only thing worth mentioning would be that no homework was assigned to us, which meant that my half-day assignment-free streak might make it to last a few actual days. That was nice.

Before Physics started I met Denise and a few other friends. Denise wasn't happy about me telling her that I had a secret that I wasn't going to reveal to her. She said she wouldn't talk to me until I told her what it was. She did not manage to stick to that.

Physics was informative and somewhat interesting, but again there was nothing much to write about except for the lack of homework, which was nice again. Also, the class ended pretty early.

After Physics I went to go eat lunch with Joanna. I got to share her meal and get that cool coke contour glass in exchange for telling her the story up until the point where I had promised not to tell anyone anything anymore. When I was done, she didn't believe what had happened. I still got a pretty kickass sundae out of that, though, so whatever.

When lunch was finished we hung out at the computer lab before I went a-roaming in the hall again while waiting for my CTS replacement class to start. When I was bored of the hall I went to wait in the class, where I talked with a dude about the biggest secrets we had kept. He couldn't really remember anything, but he did tell me about this one friend of his who slept with a transvestite. That was good for a laugh.

The class was cool. We got to watch clips from Thank You For Not Smoking, which I have to remember to download again sometime soon. Again, there was no homework. That was a nice note to end the day's education on.

After that I hung out a bit more and managed to avoid breaking my promise not to tell anyone despite around a dozen people knowing I had a secret. That was a bit tricky, to say the least.

Word had gotten around about me telling Juria that I liked her. It was pretty cool being the subject of gossip. Carmeni's boyfriend, Nicholas, was in college, and he had heard. He told me that I did it wrong, and that the surest way to fix things was by kissing Juria the next time I see her. Nick's a cool dude, but I think I'll pass on that particular nugget of wisdom. Somehow I get the feeling that borderline sexual assault is not the best way to get a girl interested in you.

I also found out that Elo used to smoke. She told me how she started and how she managed to quit, so that information might be useful in the future. It seems like a lot more of my friends smoke or used to smoke than I originally thought. Still not tempted to try, though.

Later on a bunch of us went to one of the many Ali Maju restaurants for drinks and snacks. I had spent most of the rest of the week's allowance on a ticket to a student-organized standup comedy night on Thursday, so I didn't order anything. Joanna's mum called and told her that she was arriving soon, so Jo left before she got her order. It arrived moments after she left. Since we are not the type of people to waste perfectly good food, I got to have something to eat after all, and Zach said he would pay. So for me at least, there was such thing as a free lunch. Later we saw Jo waiting outside, so I miscalled her and she sat inside until her mum actually arrived.

After that I went home. I spent quite a while talking about my morning conversation to my sister while my brother tried to guess what the secret was.

So anyway it is now around twelve thirty and all the events described technically happened yesterday since it is the sixth today. The fifth was a long day. Today is going to be even longer. I am not really looking forward to waking up six hours from now to get ready for nine straight hours of college. Oh well.

I guess the short version of this post is I can't keep secret the fact that I have a secret, and also I told Juria I liked her and it was pleasantly liberating. So yeah, there's that.