Things I Will and Won't Miss about Malaysia

At some point after I get my degree, I plan to leave Malaysia and either live somewhere else in the Commonwealth or in the Netherlands. Here's what I will and won't miss about living in Malaysia.

Things I won't miss:
1) The weather. Malaysia has three seasons, and all of them are terrible.

You've got the default season, Hot, where the humidity and equatorial sunlight conspire together to make you start sweating from the second after you finish your morning shower all the way until you get back home, shut all the curtains, turn on both air-conditioners and your fan to prevent everything from melting. You can also look forward to baking inside of your car if you leave it outside for more than five minutes. More than once I've been unable to even leave the parking lot because my steering while is so hot that driving is impossible without oven mitts.

Next you've got Haze, which is what happens every year when Indonesia sets itself on fire to get rid off all the excess wood they end up with from their deforestation and everyone upwind of them gets to enjoy a post-apocalyptic version of their cities where schools close, streets empty, visibility is reduced to almost nothing, and anyone brave enough to venture outdoors does so with surgical masks and bandannas around their faces like they're in a zombie movie. Actually, Haze might be my favourite of the three seasons just because of how awesome everything looks.

Finally you've got Wet, where it rains everyday and flash floods pop up everywhere, ruining your floors if you happen to let the rainwater seep into your house, and causing insane traffic jams on all the roads. One time I was driving to pick my sister up from something or other and I had to drive through what used to be a highway but had temporarily become an urban river. When we got home I noticed that my license plate had been ripped from its screws and swept clean off. Floods are hardcore, man.

2) The traffic. Rain isn't the only thing the causes jams. Cars will also slow to a crawl if there's an accident up ahead, or some particularly exotic roadkill (think python or monitor lizard or giant rat), or if the police have decided to send an inept traffic warden to direct traffic at a busy junction, or if it's between six to nine on a weekday morning, or if it's five to nine on a weekday evening, or if it's anytime on a Friday, or for seemingly no reason at all. It's one of the reasons owning a motorcycle is so great.

3) The hotness. Not to be confused with item #1 on this list, the hotness here refers to the ratio of beautiful people to normal-looking people to ugly people in the country. While we seem to have proportionally as many ugly people as any other country, everyone else seems to be exceedingly plain-looking. Good-looking people are few and far between. It's probably part of the reason that modelling and acting for commercials pays so well around here.

My beliefs about how hot the populations of other countries come from what I've seen personally (for Holland, Australia, and the States), or from documentaries (Australia), the sounds of their voices while I'm at work (Australia, New Zealand), and pictures of my Tumblr followers. That last one might just be because everyone on Tumblr is attractive. It's weird but I challenge you to find an exception to that rule.

4) The food. Every local and tourist you ask will disagree with this point, but however much I wish I did, I do not share their tastes. A lot of the local food here is pretty okay, but everything else is either too spicy or looks like vomit. I don't care how good of an acquired taste it can be, if it looks like someone barfed on my plate and it has the texture of regurgitated toilet paper, I won't be that interested in eating it, no matter how cheap and readily available it is.

Also western food is amazing and freshly-baked bread is amazing and the candy overseas is amazing and those are all things that are nowhere near as common here as they are in, say, the Netherlands or Australia or  New Zealand. Also also, bacon. Malaysia is a predominantly Muslim country, and as such most places do not serve pork. This means no bacon burgers, no bacon pizzas, no bacon anything. It's the worst, you guys.

5) The accents. Malaysian accents tend to be more of the comedy variety, which is part of the reason why killing dudes is so fun in Just Cause 2 ("HE CUT ME WITH HIS WIRE THING") and the Petronas Twin Towers levels in Hitman: Silent Assassin ("You wanna boom-boom with Charlie?"). I'd much rather listen to accents of the sexy (Australia, West Coast USA, New Zealand, parts of the UK), super-chillaxed (Netherlands), badass, or unclassifiable (South Africa) variety.

6) The cockroaches. They fly, they aren't afraid of the light, they're huge, they seem to crawl onto my body way more than random chance would allow for. Also they are everywhere.

Apparently Corinna had never even seen a cockroach before she visited Malaysia. I don't seem to remember ever seeing one in any of my visits to Holland, either. There were some massive mosquitoes that one time, but that actually turned out to be a good thing because it made them so much easier to swat.

7) The ridiculous censorship. Some examples: "I ****ed a Girl"/"I kissed a ****" (actually acknowledged by Katy Perry when she performed here), "Inglourious ********", "Super Sapiens" (Hellboy), Snakes on a Plane (Which was censored for the first fifteen minutes before the board eventually gave up and let everything through except for the "Enough is enough" scene, which is arguably the best one in the movie), District 9 (Where the censorship board was confounded by the speed at which everyone was talking, which resulted in them censoring the words immediately after "Fuck"), Hancock (Where the use of the word "Asshole" was actually a plot point, but every scene with it was cut), Kick-Ass (Where nobody was censored except for Hit-Girl and anyone swearing at Hit-Girl), and The Grey (Where almost a quarter of the movie was cut because Liam Neeson yells at God).

8) The grass. Not cannabis; the actual grass beneath your feet. It's all crabgrass, which is itchy as hell and grows super-fast and doesn't even look that good. It also sucks at collecting morning dew and the ground underneath it is always waterlogged like mad for days after rain.

Things I will miss:
1) My friends and family. Once I leave the country I won't be seeing them again except on Christmases and weddings and maybe the occasional Chinese New Year. If I go to Holland, though, I will have a whole other side of my family to get to know, which could be fun. I'll finally meet my female cousins. Except for my sisters, it's all boys in this generation of Cheahs.

2) The internet. Australia's internet regulations are ridiculously backwards, and the censorship is almost worse than Malaysia's. Also laws against piracy are actually enforced in Europe, which means that I'll have to deal with being months behind American TV shows and I'll actually have to deal with EA and Ubisoft's backwards DRM which causes an endless supply of headaches for legitimate customers but does nothing against pirates.

3) Cheap stuff. Movie tickets are cheap, petrol is subsidized, electronics are cheap, food is cheap, and alcohol is cheap unless it's beer or you actually care about the quality, in which case it is crazy expensive. If I'm overseas, though, I'll probably be using a stronger currency, which will at least make buying things online relatively cheaper.

4) The malls. Like the cockroaches, our malls are huge and everywhere. If you've got the cash, you're never too far from someplace where you can get a good meal, watch a movie, get your groceries, buy a book, buy some clothes, or rush-buy a gift for someone whose birthday Facebook just reminded you it was.

So yeah, the fact that the former list is twice as long as the latter should be a good indication of my feelings about this country. It's nowhere near the worst place in the world, but there are so many places that are so much better so I see little reason to stay once I have the money and skills to survive on my own.

Driving, Gua Tempurung, Kuala Woh, and Cameron Highlands with Corinna

As of Tuesday the 16th of November, 2010, this post is incomplete. That's what happens when I procrastinate. It's not my fault that this is such a good, free book. Anyway:

My alarm went off at eight-ish on Sunday. I didn't wake up; I wanted to sleep more.

My dad came in at nine and told me that Corinna was waiting for me, so I woke up.

I showered and I think I may have read the Bible, but I definitely skipped my exercises. I do so little that it doesn't matter, anyway.

I packed some extra clothes and a couple of towels. I decided to put my laser in a bag, too, because why not? Also, I packed some sandals because I didn't want to ruin my shoes

I called Corinna. She had thought we would be leaving a lot earlier because I had told her at one point that I would be waking up at six. I had changed my mind the day before and I thought I told her that, but apparently I hadn't.

Before we got in the elevator I asked Corinna why she hadn't packed extra clothes. She said that she didn't mind getting wet in those clothes because they were old then Malaysian sun would dry them out pretty quick anyway.

We got in the car and I drove. We'd agreed beforehand that I would drive there and Corinna would drive back. I got to the toll for the North-South highway in less them then I thought it would take. After that we just drove and talked.

I spent a while the night before putting songs on my phone to listen to on the way there, but Corinna preferred the radio so we listened to that instead. Some good stuff came on, so I didn't mind.

We talked a bit about Mormons and Rastafarians and Jesus and the Catholic church and abortion and teen pregnancy and palm oil and contraceptives and sexual education. There was other stuff, but I forget.

We pulled into the Tapah rest stop for brunch at KFC. Corinna had never eaten KFC before. We each had a snack plate and large wedges and a box of popcorn chicken. Corinna was too full to finish the popcorn chicken, and she couldn't even look at the chicken leftovers so she just covered them with a cloth instead.

We talked about stuff. I asked Corinna when she wanted to have kids and her answer was a very specific 28, but she had no reasons behind it. I thought that was interesting.

We went to the rest of the rest stop so I could get some drinks and candy and so Corinna could try to find a toilet that wasn't a dirty hole in the ground. When we walked to the food court she almost recoiled from the smell. She said it was the worst smell she had ever smelled. It was just dried fish.

I bought a Red Bull and a Coke and some packets of Nano Nano and some Strepsils and a bunch of lollipops. I also got a razor and some glue. Corinna was gone, so I called her and told her to meet me at the car. Apparently the smell had been too much for her and she left.

I gave Corinna a Nano Nano in the car and her reaction was priceless. She reacted exactly the same way that most Malaysians do when I let them try licorice. She said it tasted like vegetables and vanilla. I didn't think it tasted like that at all. She declared it the most disgusting thing she had ever tasted. She still hasn't tried durian. Anyway, when we got back home I gave her a pack to share with her friends in Germany so she could enjoy their reactions like I enjoyed hers.

Gua Tempurung was easy to find. It's fortunate that I had a leadership camp in that area for college earlier this year.

The entrance for wet tours had ended at twelve and it was already twelve-forty, so unfortunately we couldn't go in. Well, Corinna felt pretty fortunate. She has a fear of confined spaces like submarines and space shuttles and tight crawlspaces in caves, so she was glad she wouldn't have to crawl through a subterranean river. I was a bit bummed. I had packed my boardshorts and everything.

We couldn't even go on the longest dry tour because we needed to have five people. I tried to convince three other people to come with us, but they didn't have enough time, so we ended up buying tickets for the 45 minute tour.

My dad called me right before we were supposed to go in at 1pm. I told him where we were and what we were about to do. He told me to drive safe.

The cave was pretty fun. It was quite cave-like, and I was really glad I had brought my laser. The best place for a laser is a cave, really. There were a lot of stairs and it was very humid and there were a lot of people, so we got pretty sweaty.

When we reached the end of the tour, I asked the guide if he could take us further. He said it was fine, but we'd of course have to pay the extra price as if we had gotten the ticket for the "Top of the World" dry tour. I was very pleased with this, because it meant we could stay for another hour and it would only cost three ringgit more each. A small group of other people decided to come with us, too.

The rest of the tour group started going back, but before they did I let a kid play with my laser. I figured I'd've wanted to play with a laser if I was a kid in a cave, so there was no reason to deprive him. Oh yeah, earlier on in the tour some chick asked if Corinna was my wife. I thought that was pretty funny. Corinna's exact reaction when I told her had been "What?".

Anyway, we continued to the tour to the "Top of the World". There was more walking and more stairs, but it got cooler deeper in the cave so it was alright. There was even a breeze at one point.

Eventually we came to this huge cavern that was the end point. It was, indeed, pretty high up. Previously when I had been there they turned off the lights, but the guide told me that they didn't do that any more. He could turn them off at the place with the breeze, though, so that was nice. In the meanwhile I sat with Corinna and tried to find Top of the World on my phone so I could play it and have everything be all appropriate and stuff, but I had deleted the song. I was pretty upset with myself for that.

We turned around and went to the tunnel with the breeze. I tried to talk to Corinna but she told me to be quiet because the total silence in the cave was really nice. I told her that we couldn't hear the silence even if I wasn't talking because the guys behind us always were. She pointed out that they stopped sometimes, but I didn't. She had a point, because after she said that they did for a few minutes and there was silence and it was nice.

The guide turned off the lights. My laser looked really cool in total darkness. I told Corinna to come check it out, but she didn't come.

Someone walked out of the rails to take a picture. I walked out of the rails because I wanted to walk out of the rails. Also, there was a big rock and I wanted to see if I could lift it. I couldn't. I smelled the dirt, but it smelt like the kind of dirt you get on the side of the walls in condominium basement car parks, so it was a bit disappointing.

We left the cave and we were very sweaty. Corinna still smelled nice, though. I asked her why and she said it was because of her Nivea body lotion or something. I asked her how much it was and if they made one for guys. She said yes to both, so now I know what I'm going to buy with my next pay (aside from polo shirts).

We got in the car. Our drinks were warm. We decided to go to a gas station and buy colder ones because we were still thirsty and also because we needed to refill a Touch 'N Go card so we could pay for the tolls. It cost more than RM20 to get from KL to where we were.

After we bought the stuff and I topped up my card, we got back in the car and drove to Cameron highlands. It was further down the highway than we remembered it being.

Okay, it's almost nine o'clock here at the office. I'll continue this post tomorrow.

Okay, it's tomorrow.

While driving up to Cameron Highlands, I spotted the Sufes campground, which brought back some memories of Writer's Camp many years ago and a BB camp less many years ago. A little ahead of that, I saw a sign for Kuala Woh, and I knew that that was where we had to go.

I missed the turning at first because it was on the wrong side of the road, but I found a place to turn around a little ways down. The road to Kuala Woh was not as well-maintained as the main road up to the Highlands, which made sense.

I sounded the horn as I approached a big turn in the road and explained to Corinna why. It was so that people on the other side would know I was coming so they'd slow down and stick to their side and there wouldn't be an accident.

We parked at Kuala Woh and I'm not sure how I got in my swimming pants. I think I asked Corinna to go wait by the river first.

Anyway, I went down and met her. She thought the water was dirty. I walked around in it for a bit until I found what I was looking for, and I called her over.

Hot springs are cool, especially ones along rivers because then you get the contrast of the cool river water rushing by but the hot spring water bubbling through the sand at your feet. I forgot what Corinna's reaction was but I think she was at least slightly impressed.

I put my shirt with my bag and tried to walk through the river to the other side, but I underestimated the current and was pushed a short way downstream. I hit a lot of rocks, but I didn't get seriously injured. When the water got deeper and calmer I found my footing and walked up to shore and started digging on the hot sand.

The spring water is hotter if you just dig for it because then it doesn't mix with the water from the river and get cooled down. I put a rock in the hole that I dug to heat it up. It got pretty hot pretty fast.

I talked to some Indian guys who asked where I was from and where Corinna was from. They were okay.

I waded across to the other side of the river and started digging again. I called Corinna over and got her to hold a hot rock that I had put in a hole. I think she dropped it and swore. That was funny.

I told her that I didn't want to leave until she had at least gotten her calves wet, because it was silly to come all the way out to the river and not swim in it. It took me a while to realize that she wasn't reluctant to get wet, she was reluctant to get dirty. I have to admit, the water did look kinda nasty.

I noticed a bridge over the river and how wobbly it was and I said we could leave if she went on that with me, but she didn't want to do that, either. Eventually she caved and went in the water. I took another refreshing dip and then told her that we could go, but first I wanted to shake the bridge. I ran up and shook the bridge. It was not as wobbly as it looked. It was hardly exciting.

I went back to Corinna and told her to wait by the bank for a bit while I got changed in the car. I said I'd miscall her when I was done.

She walked to the car before I miscalled her, but I already had my pants on. I asked her why she hadn't waited and she said that nobody takes that long to change. I told her the car was cramped and asked what if she saw me changing. She just did that thing where she blows air through her lips in exasperation. I dropped the subject.

We got back on the road and started driving again. Corinna told me about the dead fish she saw, and also about the dead cat she saw. Kuala Woh had quite a few dead things. Hannah and Jan and my mum went there once and there was a dead snake. Well, it was alive when they got there, but it crawled in the engine and so that's why the car makes a funny noise when it goes too fast.

And that is all I'll write about for today. I like this, pacing my blogging. I'm afraid that, by the time I get around to writing about the long conversation about sex that we had on the way back, I will have forgotten most of the details. The fact is, though, that I already have, and besides I told her that I wouldn't tell anyone until she left the country. If I do tell someone before she goes, she gets to tell everyone something that I'd rather not have everyone hear about that she knows.

I'll continue this after work tomorrow. Shit, after tomorrow there'll only be Friday. That's only two days to write about the next... five hours? Dang.

And it's after tomorrow again. Here we go.

So we were back on the road going up Cameron Highlands, and we were talking about stuff. It was a long road. It was very curvy. There were a lot of dogs on it. It was difficult to overtake people. On two occasions there were fallen branches blocking the road and I had to drive on the wrong lane to get past them. On one of the occasions I scratched the car against it pretty badly.

I can't remember what we talked about. I guess it's for the best. I've lost the inspiration to write this post. It was perhaps not the best idea to spread it over so many days. Oh well, might as well finish it for the sake of finishing it.

Um, at one point on the way to Batu Caves we talked about Corinna's friends and why her friend who slept with basically anyone would not sleep with Asians. I don't know why I remembered that or why I'm putting that here and up the story a few dozen paragraphs where it belongs, but there you go. Anyway, back to the part in the story where we're going up the curvy road.

We passed the cloudbank and kept going. It was quite high up. We rolled down the windows and the air was cool. That was nice. Eventually we saw a really big strawberry and we were in Cameron Highlands.

There was a town and we followed the road and we came across a big brownish-orange lake. Next to it was the Lakeview Hotel. It looked like Europe. We parked and got out and took pictures, then we went in to get a map from reception. Corinna went to use the toilet and I sat down in a very comfortable chair in front of a fire place and wished that I lived there. On our way out we saw someone taking scones and tea to a room. That hotel is now one of my favourite places in Malaysia. It even had a typewriter.

We checked the map and drove down the road to a tea house which overlooked a tea plantation. The tea plantation was vast and cool and beautiful. I ate some scones and had some strawberry tea while Corinna ate a slice of carrot cake and drank some plain tea. I thought it was a bit pointless to go all the way there to drink normal tea, but oh well.

I washed my hands and even the water felt like Europe. It was so cold and nice. I really like Cameron Highlands.

We went for a walk in the tea plantation. On our way in, two Dutch tourists passed us, so in addition to the trees, the smell, the temperature, and the air, for a brief moment it sounded like Holland, too. That was nice.

There was a sign that forbade people from plucking the tea leaves, so I plucked a sprig of pine or something instead. It was from I tree that I didn't see much elsewhere but it smelled very nice. I dropped it halfway through our walk and I was sad because it really did smell nice.

We talked about how I had told the girls I liked that I liked them. I think Corinna said that I shouldn't do that any more. I can't remember, though.

We took some pictures in the tea. I tried to climb up a hill but I didn't get very far. I got quite wet from all the dew and such on the leaves. It was quite drizzly.

After we got out of the tea plantation we drove back down to try and find a strawberry place, but they were closed. I pulled over across from the Lakeview Hotel and let Corinna drive.

On the way down we talked about sex. Midway through the conversation, Corinna told me that if I told anyone anything she'd said, she'd kill me. I told her that I wouldn't say anything until she left the country. She said that was alright. I told her something embarrassing about myself so if I betrayed her trust then she could betray mine.

I learned a lot about sex during that drive. I really wish I lived in Germany. Malaysia seems so boring. And the women are pretty sexually repressed here; Corinna was shocked to find that none of my friends had ever masturbated or experienced an orgasm and they all thought oral sex was gross. (I'm going to go ahead and assume that I'm allowed to talk about Corinna's reactions to what I said. That could lead to trouble. I should probably cut this short.)

The rain got worse and the sky got dark and our windows started to fog up. It was difficult to see out of them due to all the condensation, and we struggled with that for the rest of the drive. Corinna got pretty upset with the windshield for being so crap.

On the way down, I took out my laser and shined it out the window of the car and that was fun. I couldn't hit any of the nearby mountains with the beam, but I didn't mind.

We talked about vibrators and pornography and (loss of) virginity and Corinna's "type" and herpes and contraceptives and many many other things that nobody else would talk to me about so that was nice. I'd list more but I'm probably already to close to saying something I shouldn't, so I'll stop. Also I can't really remember much of the conversation.

We got back home and I said goodnight to Corinna and think I went on the computer for a bit and then I went to bed. I'm not sure. I know I felt quite depressed and lonely for some reason that night. That tends to happen after I spend a lot of time with people and then I suddenly stop being around them. The transition usually isn't so quick and it usually isn't after spending only one day with a person.

Oh well.

Hey, I'm done.

Actually, I'm not. We also went to Pizza Hut after we got back to the city but before we got home. Corinna was happy because she had been craving pizza all day. She'd never eaten in Pizza Hut before. We ordered too much food and I had a slice of pizza and it was good. I liked it. We didn't finish everything we ordered and Corinna wanted to pay for me, but I didn't want to let a girl pay for my meal so we split the bill. She ended up paying more but then again I did eat a lot less.

Okay now I think I'm done.

First Day of Actual Work

Thursday (today?) was my first day taking actual calls. It was very interesting. Other stuff happened after work, but I am tired and I have to be awake again in less than five hours so unfortunately not every thing that happened will get the details they deserve. Also this post will probably be loaded with errors.

Okay, so I woke up early. I did my daily Bible reading. I took a nap. There was some alarm trouble but fortunately I set two alarms, so it was inconvenient but not, um, fatal.

I got ready and then I spent a little too much time on the computer. I left the house later than I should have.

I arrived in the office around eight minutes later than I should have (I was supposed to arrive at 7:45, I got there at seven fifty-something). Fortunately, I was already inside the office when Hariz first spotted me and nobody had started working yet so I was in the clear.

I got assigned a temporary desk and computer, and then I tried to set everything up. The computer froze, so I restarted it and went through everything all over again.

I got my first call before I was actually ready for it. Right now I've forgotten what it was about, but I think I should be able to recall in future if you ask me.

After that the calls came in quite steadily. I answered them to the best of my ability and it took me around 15 minutes to work on each. A few wrong numbers meant that my AHT was down to 12 minutes, but it was still way about 6.

I had to check with my supervisor for help quite a few times, but I was told many times during training that calling the supervisor was perfectly okay as long as the customer agreed to be put on hold, and all of them did.

Between twelve to one o'clock my fellow part-timers went home, but I elected to stay on until five for more money and experience. Before my lunch break I got called over to meet with a dude who does call monitoring. He told me that the call he was monitoring of mine had passed, so I was doing okay. However, I had to practice the script, slow down so the customers could understand me, repeat the serial number with the phonetic alphabet (alpha, bravo, charlie, delta, etc), and use less words (I was talking a bit too much). I also met with Hariz and he told me some stuff, but I kinda forgot what right now.

After that I took my break and did my Conquer Club turns and then I answered one more call before I went for lunch. The car was really really hot. I had to wait a few minutes for the car to cool down before I could drive it. I went to McDonald's. I had too many fries, maybe.

After (or before, it's late and my memory's a bit wonky) lunch, a lady dropped by my desk as she was leaving. She had also stopped by earlier when my wrap-up time exceeded six minutes. Anyway, she asked me how things were going and I told her that my biggest mistake so far was sending a customer to T2 without giving him his case ID and the support hours. She said that was not that bad for a first day mistake, but I shouldn't repeat it.

Anyway, I took more calls until five, then I went for a talk with my supervisor. Dave asked how my first day was and I said it was good. He said that that was good because I was doing a pretty good job. I asked him what AHT was expected of me as a new guy, and he told me that 12 minutes was pretty good since his AHT when he was starting was between twenty to thirty minutes. I asked him how long it would take before I could keep my AHT under six minutes, and he said around two weeks. He also told me that hiring the lot of us was no mistake, so that was nice. It's nice to know that I'm not a mistake.

Oh yeah, sometime during work it was someone's birthday so I got cake. It was chocolate indulgence. It was delicious cake.

On my way back, I decided to drive by Amanda's house to see if I could help her pack. I gave her a call and she said she was in Bangsar with Davinia because her parents were away, but I could join them in Devi's in a bit. I told her that sounded like a good plan.

I drove to the cul-de-sac (it may not actually be a cul-de-sac, that's just the first phrase that comes to mind to explain the place) near Saundra's house to do a u-turn so I could go back. I decided to park and see if I could go see Jared and Saundra's new puppy. I gave Saundra a call and she let me in. Kendra, Saundra, and I went to see the puppy. Scratch is adorable. Kendra is nice, too. I don't understand how Hannah can think she's one of the most annoying children ever.

Anyway here is a picture of Scratch.
While playing with Scratch, I got a call from Amanda. I said goodbye to the Lockes and went to Devi's to meet Amanda. She told me where to park.

At Devi's I washed my hands and looked for Amanda. She took a while to find me because I wasn't wearing orange, and I took a while to find her because I was looking in the wrong direction, I guess.

We went to Guardian to buy Amanda some eyeliner (Geraldine had lost her previous supply) and to get Davinia some makeup remover. I bought some mouthwash while I was there. I also saw some eyeliner with ferrocyanide in it. I probably spelt that wrong. I'll Google it tomorrow, it can't be as dangerous as it sounds.

After getting the stuff from Guardian, Amanda and I went to Devi's to meet with Davi. We got a table and we talked about stuff until Geraldine arrived, and then we talked until we ran out of conversation, and then we played a game where you connect animals to other animals or countries based on the first and last letter and it was a lot more fun than it sounds and a lot easier to explain than I've explained. Amanda kept getting "E"s and "A"s, it was fun to watch.

Anyway some of the stuff we talked about in Devi's was how Daryl worked nearby and what was going on with Amanda and the guy she liked and how apparently Juria and her boyfriend had been in that very same Devi's just three hours ago or so. We also gossiped but I won't be sharing much of that here. Also this local celebrity showed up but I didn't recognize him. Also Amanda and Davinia passed judgement on random passers-by. Also Amanda told us about her upcoming Nike photoshoot and how I should do some modelling. I agreed to let Amanda and Davinia take me shopping one day to get me new clothes because I don't really know how to dress fashionably. I dress for comfort and utility first and fashion... last.

We went to Bangsar Village so the girls could use the bathroom. Davinia spent a long while waiting outside with me for Amanda and Geraldine while Amanda and Geraldine were spending a long time in the bathroom waiting for Davinia. It was a bit pointless.

I returned Geraldine's English-Malay dictionary and said goodbye. I'll be seeing them again on Friday evening at 10:30 to go clubbing. I'll be driving Amanda there and staying sober so I can witness the shenanigans and drive her back home safe and sound.

When I got home I told my mum and Hannah how my first day of real work was, and Hannah asked for some of my money. I told her that I'd give her RM5 a day if she exercised with the stairs and fake sit-ups. She agreed. I realized later that this scheme would lose me RM155 a month. Dang.

Hannah actually got me to sign a contract about the exercise and stuff. She's also getting RM20 for burning Cloverfield and Titanic onto a DVD for me for a movie night that may be happening next month or so.

Hannah is a crafty girl.

I need to go to bed now, after showering and stuff I'll maybe only get three hours of sleep or so. I need to nap from when I get back from work until when I have to get ready to go out at around nine forty-five or something.

P.S. Oh yeah, while I was at Devi's, Amanda pointed out that she saw my brothers. I wanted to sneak up on them and surprise them, but they spotted me first. They were going to Pappa (Papa?) Rich with El-Hanan and Joel. After exchanging greetings, I went back to Amanda and Davinia to talk about nonsense.

Quite Funny in a Boring Way

Friday. Let's see, I woke up to my alarm at 11am and went about my usual morning routine (which includes a shower now). For breakfast (or lunch, it was almost noon), we had pancakes. I ate two. They were delicious.

Ruben was going with his dad to see Inception. Jan was tagging along, I think. I was going to college. I'm kinda disappointed that I didn't get to watch Inception a sixth time.

It started raining, so I went on the computer while I waiting for the weather to return to drivable conditions. I had some bookmarks left over from last night. I read a discussion about whether legalized abortion had caused a drop in crime. Apparently it had, but not by as much as was originally supposed.

When the time came to leave, I left. When I reached the KPD I couldn't find the kitten, so I just went to class and started reading. I'm almost done with the Mole diaries. He's 20 now. Adrian Mole is very knowledgeable, but he's still quite stupid. I can see why I remind Jared of him.

Class started and we were handed our second quizzes back. I got 9.5 out of 10. I was not expecting 9.5 out of 10. It was a very pleasant surprise. Only one person in class scored full marks. Ms Belinda said that I lost my half mark over a careless mistake. I think that I gained a couple marks due to clever guessing.

During the break I found the kitten, and I also found the girls who were feeding him and his mother. I didn't speak to them, though. I managed to get really close to the kitten, but he didn't let me stroke him this time. Oh well, his loss.

After the break we handed in our assignments. The moment I put mine down, Ms Belinda started going through it and circling mistakes. I couldn't bear to look so I went back to my seat and waited for class to resume. The class ended late because we had to do some exercises on the board. The building's air-conditioning had been shut off for almost half an hour by the time we left.

When I got back home I found out that Ruben had thought Inception was only okay. He's the first person aside from my dad not to think the movie was awesome. I also found out that Ruben and Stefanie were leaving early to stay at their house, and they taking Hannah for a while, too. Apparently there was nothing left to do at our place. They were wrong, I hadn't even taken them up to the roof yet. Oh well, their loss.

I watched District 9 and ate a huge bowl of fresh carbonara. It was super-delicious at first, but it was merely yummy as I was finishing it. A loss in quality is to be expected when you consume a bowl of pasta in an air-conditioned room over the course of an hour, though.

A little later on I was chatting with some people on Windows Live Messenger when I noticed Juria sign in. I asked her if she had been to MTV World Stage, and we got talking from there. After a while I told her that I was still sorry for breaking a promise I had made to her in my second semester, which was my first apology to her since the day she confronted me about it. She said that it was all in the past and she had forgiven me, and I felt a lot better. We talked for a bit more about college and Jason Mraz and stuff, but then my internet connection started acting up so I couldn't chat any more.

I watched some TV with Jan and did my exercises, and then I took a shower and now I'm writing about a rather short day. Oh yeah, apparently the electric razor was Ian's, not Ruben's. Also, Ebony texted me to tell me that she read my blog sometimes and she thinks that it is "quite funny in a boring way", hence the title.

It's Like the Rain Was Especially for Me

Today I got my results back for my Psychology mid-term. I got 13.67%, which is one of my worst test scores ever, I think. Carmeni got one point less than me, and Joanna got .67% less than me, which means we're tied for overall scores.

I was supposed to study with Amanda during my long break, but she was sleeping somewhere so I decided to nap, too. I only managed to sleep in the DSA for one and a half of the three hours, so I spent the other one and a half writing up my Finite Mathematics assignments.

Speaking of assignments, I've got two for Psychology. I've got to write the introduction or conclusion for our group assignment once we've combined all our parts into one great big report, which is Carmeni's job. I've also got to proofread the end result. Plus, tonight I have to add APA referencing to my contribution. On top of all that, my next reflective writing essay is due next week. It's about motivation or something.

Anyway, I went home as soon as my last class ended because I was very hungry. I was hungry because I didn't spend anything on food. I'm not spending any money until Thursday because of my overspending at the Outback Steakhouse yesterday. But yeah, when I left college it was just starting to rain. I thought I would ride home quickly before the rain got worse, but the moment I was on the road the rain got really bad. I was thoroughly soaked when I got home, but I was all right after a hot shower and some toast. A few minutes later, the rain stopped, so that was nice.

Oh yeah, also, on my morning walk on the stairs I encountered a surprising sight on the eighteenth floor. My cat, Faith, was lying on one of the stairs. He didn't make a noise when I picked him up and and only started mewing once he was home. Silly cat. He'd gotten a bit thinner. Someone must've left the door open. I'm lucky I found him.

Ian downloaded BioShock 2 and S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat. He's playing the latter, and it looks pretty dang awesome. I'm jealous; I wish my rig could handle it. Oh well, at least I have RuneScape.

Hm. I'd better work on those citations.

Two Days in One Post

I did not do much on Monday. In college, a few more people were zapped. At home, I installed Stubbs the Zombie on Ian's computer and played it for a bit. I also watched Fantastic Mr Fox. It was okay, I enjoyed. Hannah managed to cut herself in the shower again, and Jan installed Far Cry 2 on his computer. Also I watched Dirty Jobs and did some exercise and then I went to bed without blogging.

I other stuff happened on Monday but I don't think I can remember. I do recall that on Saturday the air conditioning was turned on, which made it better than all the replacement Saturdays from last semester.

On Tuesday I made the decision to withdraw the RM50 that I had been planning to save. I spent some of it on Subway and some of it on potato chips. Subway was delicious, and so were the chips. I don't think I regret it.

Classes during the two days were okay. We did some meditation in Psychology on Tuesday, and I played with slinkies and springs in Physics.

Other things that happened on Tuesday, too. More people were zapped and back home we had mini hash brown things and breaded fish for dinner, which was delicious. I also installed Command & Conquer: Generals on my computer and played a few missions before discovering that all my saves from the last time I had the game installed were still there. I have saves from 2007. Awesome.

I think it rained on Monday and I rode back through it and got all wet. The could've been another day, though. I know it rained on Tuesday. I decided to stay behind and wait it out. In the meanwhile I talked with Carmeni and Kaminie about foods that I do not like to eat. The were shocked at how un-Malaysian my palate was.

Oh yeah, I also spent a considerable amount of time in Giant looking at the different candies and snack foods. I was comparing prices and wondering if I should buy anything. In the end I decided not to, but it was an educational experience nonetheless.

Man, this post is all over the place. Anyway my dad said we've got to be in bed by 12am every night or else he'll deduct RM50 from our allowance. Also I've got to drive Hannah to some place tomorrow in the morning. I was looking forward to sleeping in, too. Oh well.

A Hit of the Boom

I ate a lot today. I had chips, McDonald's, ice cream, and fries.

I ate the chips during Psychology class. They were sour cream and onion flavoured Cottage Fries and they were merely okay. They cost three ringgit per pack, though, so I'm not buying them again. Roller Coasters are better.

I had McDonald's for lunch. The twister fries were kinda stale. After that I read a bit of Guns, Germs, and Steel, and then I took a short nap.

When I woke up I washed my face with water from the coldest water fountain on campus, and then I went to Finite Maths class. I didn't fall asleep. Instead, I read more Guns, Germs, and Steel. The lecturer didn't seem to mind. Very soon we'll be covering things I don't know, so I'd better start paying attention in class.

Right when class ended I got a text that said Physics was cancelled because of the rain. Mr Naj couldn't make it on his motorcycle, apparently. I decided to brave the rain, and I got more soaked than I ever have before when riding.

I took a warm shower as soon as I got back, and then I changed into something comfortable and went online for a bit. Hannah and Yii Huei wanted to go to Petaling Street and I agreed to take them, so after a while Yii Huei came to tell me that we could go. I got ready, but Hannah was still faffing about on the computer. When we finally got her to get ready to go, we found that there weren't any cars available, so I took a nap while I waited for someone to come home.

Papa came home, so we took his car. First I had to put some petrol in it, and then I got a bit lost on my way to Petaling Street, but we made it there. We parked in an underground car park that Hannah found pretty scary. It stank, but the prices were reasonable.

Hannah and Yii Huei picked up some Ray Bans for ten ringgit each, and I bought a laser pointer for RM12. The original price was RM15, but the guy decided to give me a "special price" of RM13. When I asked for RM12.50, he told me not to worry about the fifty cents. That was nice. He also told me that the laser pointer also had a "boom". I wasn't sure what that "boom" was, but I was hoping it wasn't something to do with drugs, since a few of the other stalls had been selling bongs.

Hannah tried playing with the laser and she shocked herself. Turns out the other button delivers a little electric shock with amusing results. Anyway, we stopped at a McDonald's for some ice creams, and then we went home.

At home we asked Aunty Rosie to cook some of the twister fries that Papa had bought earlier. The girls wanted to go swimming, so I left my laser pointer with Jan and joined them.

Nothing much happened at the pool. Yii Huei and I wanted to go to the sauna, but Hannah was firmly against that idea for some reason, so we just hung around the pool and did nothing.

Jan told us when we got back that he had played with the laser in his curiosity and zapped himself, just like I knew he would. We also gave it to Papa to try, and the girls found his reaction very entertaining. We also got to have the fries that Aunty Rosie had made. They were delicious.

I then went on the computer. When Ian came home, I let him fiddle with the laser, and he, too, was shocked. It was funny.

I'm going to bring it to college.

Driving in the Rain

Today I drove Hannah and Ebony around in the rain, because that is what they wanted to do. We stopped over at Bangsar Village and I spent enough time reading The Lost Symbol to make Hannah impatient, but not enough time to make any significant headway into the book. Oh well.

After that we went to McDonald's and I shared my fries. I paid way too much for that meal. I should stop eating McDonald's unless it's during the discount lunch hour and I'm with friends. We had free carbonara at home, and carbonara is delicious.

Anyway before we went home I drove around for a bit so I could listen to Ian's CDs. The rain was nice, too. I enjoy rainy weather, it changes things and makes them more interesting.

Back at home I read my psychology textbook for a bit again. I think I can stop mentioning that in posts now. I learned about senses. It was cool. Psychology is an interesting subject, I'm glad I chose it. I feel I'm misusing the comma. Perhaps I should use the semicolon instead. This paragraph has lost coherency.

I have two arbitrary thoughts to add to this post: The splotch of dried blood or whatever under my fingernail that I got during my second motorcycle accident is right at the tip now, so it'll be gone soon. There's still a small scar on the finger it's on, though, so I guess I'll always have that to remind me. Also I left the door to the bathroom open when I was brushing my teeth on Friday, and Stefanie walked into our room and saw me naked. The next time she entered our room she didn't knock. I think such an event would have caused me to knock the next time. It was surprisingly unawkward afterwards. Hopefully the angles were such that nothing significant was seen.

Also I watched (500) Days of Summer and it was really good. I'm pretty sure the "day after" scene is the funniest thing I've seen this year. Well, aside from this.

That What You Know

So camp was okay. We had some meetings, we had some games, we ate at a buffet, some stuff happened. 10th KL now has a plan for 2010.

The meetings were less boring than I expected, and they went by pretty fast, too. Since Ashley wasn't around, I was in charge of taking down the minutes. I got to borrow a laptop for that, so it was easy.

The games were fun. I managed to survive three or four rounds without getting soaked, and when I did get wet it was because I was in the splash zone near the losers.

Genting is an awesome mountain. The view is spectacular, and the weather is just great. The mist was so thick at times that the beam of my laser pen was visible. It was cold and drizzly the whole time, which may sound sucky but it was such a welcome relief from what I'm used to that I loved every second of it. Of course we dared each other to see who could stay in the cold the longest. I won. Well, not really, but I complained the least during the dare. Being shirtless in mountain air is exhilarating; I suggest you try it. Running shirtless in mountain air is even better.

There was also a buffet and gift exchange for the NCO Christmas party. The buffet didn't have much to offer in terms of the main course, so I just piled a bunch of breaded fish fillets on my plate and dug in. Desserts were awesome, though. I tried a bit of everything, and my only regret is that I only had one piece of the berry cake, which was absolutely the best thing there. It was like Chocolate Indulgence, but more sweet and (of course) less chocolaty. Also, I mixed a bunch of stuff (sweet & sour powder, wasabi, and soy sauce) into a wine glass and dared people to drink it. Jan, Gabriel, and Zhan Peng each had a sip, and then Ian finished the whole thing. It was great fun to watch.

The gift exchange that came afterwards was nice for most people, but I didn't enjoy it so much. The gifts we bought were randomly distributed, so I ended up with a shitty cell phone accessory someone had grabbed at the last minute and my gift ended up with someone that I don't care much for (I don't dislike him or anything, I'm just indifferent). I left my gift in the room, nobody wanted it. Even the person who bought it didn't want it.

Instead of going home we went to one of the Old Town "coffee shops" (the quotation marks are because it's a franchise) to eat with the NCOs. I wasn't that enthusiastic, but then I saw that they had added French fries and a Western breakfast set to their menu, so now I'm a little more positive about Old Town. Anyway, our trip there was pointless because the person we thought we were picking up found other transport or something, so we (Ian, Jan, and I) had to go meet up with the church for carolling alone.

At the Pavilion I got some doughnuts and read the newspaper while the rest of them carolled, but then I got bored so I wandered around the perimeter of the mall. I got back just when the carolling ended, so that was nice. Hannah came back home with Ian, Jan and I.

When we got home I had to carry up both my bags along with all the papers from the NCO retreat. Hannah was carrying Jan's uniform or something, and Ian also had his hands full. When I got to the elevator I yelled at Ian and Jan since they were inside and they were letting the doors close, so Hannah and I only just barely managed to get in. Ian said that his hands were full so he couldn't open the door, and Jan said the same was true of himself. I said that he was being pretty bold to suggest that a pair of boots and a plastic bag were something to complain about when I was lugging two bags and six pieces of paper almost as large as myself.

After I said that, Jan lunged across the lift and hit me in the face with his boots. I asked him why the fuck he did that, and he just stood there, so I asked again, louder. He didn't respond, and I was pissed off, so I dropped what I was holding to hit him back. There wasn't any easy place to punch, so I settled for strangling the bastard. Ian started yelling about watching the paper to make sure it didn't tear or whatever, but at this point I didn't care. Jan grabbed my neck, too, but the little shit started scratching, so now I've got a bit of a gash near my windpipe. We stopped for a bit, but I wasn't done being angry (I got hit in the face with a pair of fucking boots for no reason except that Jan didn't like me pointing out how selfish he was being. I'd like to see someone who wouldn't be angry in a similar situation) so I reached across again, but I couldn't do much damage because Ian said to stop or else he'd stop us. Once the lift opened I went inside and locked the door, and my dad came out and calmed me down. He brought Jan into his room and caned him, which satiated my wrath.

While I was waiting for my dad to discipline Jan, I reflected on the camp and BB and decided that my decision to quit was still a good decision and that I made a mistake by agreeing to join again, so I purposed to quit again, and I did. So for the second time this year I am out of BB. I had some responsibilities from the NCO retreat, but I'm sure Gabriel can handle them just fine.

Anyway, I went down to swim. I did 30 laps (60 lengths of the pool) because of the 3 days that I was away, and then I walked up 20 flights of stairs. I realized just now that I didn't have to do the latter, but oh well. I guess the extra exercise can't hurt.

The whole family except for Ian went to the restaurant downstairs to eat. The food was great. I talked to my dad about Google Earth and biological computers and how the brain processes images. It was an interesting conversation.

When we came home, I installed Google Earth for my dad and showed him how to fly an F16 through the Alps. Then I checked my computer (21 unread items in Google Reader, 0 Facebook notifications), and then I wrote this.

Tomorrow I'm dropping my motorcycle off for servicing, then on Wednesday I'm going to go drive Hannah and her friends at Sunway, and on Thursday I'm going to walk to the KL tower. It should be a fun week.

Holidays

On Friday I went to bed at 5am and woke up at 5pm. It was glorious. Cali was rescued by the maintenance people, but she escaped and is now wandering the building somewhere downstairs.

Today was pretty cool. I woke up at 10, spent an hour catching up on the international news, went out to eat with Jan and Hannah and my dad, then drove to Sri Beringin to see the view and make my dad's new car go really, really fast. There is a hill that is like a rollercoaster at the appropriate speeds. It is awesome.

When we had lunch I talked about the Japanese occupation of Malaysia and how some traitorous bastard (Literally, he was an illegitimate child with a bunch of different dads) named Patrick SV Heenan was partly responsible for the swiftness in which the Japanese achieved air superiority. I also ate a chili, which was quite a painful experience. Jan had dared me to do it as revenge for the time I dared him to do the same. He kept offering me "advice" which did more harm than good. I hope he enjoyed my suffering, because I sure enjoyed his.

Anyway, after we were done in Sri Beringin we went to look at another view. Jan and Papa decided to stay in the car because they were sleepy, so Hannah and I went off alone to see the view. The mood was perfect. It was windy, there were loads of trees, thunder roared in the distance. It even began to rain a little when we reached the top. After enjoying the view for a few seconds, we noticed that it was starting to rain really, really heavily, so we ran back to the car. We got in just as it began to come down in torrents. I switched the wipers on to full blast and joined Jan and Papa in singing American Pie all the way back home.

It was a nice outing.

A Second Chance

Today I learned of another secret that I can't let the lecturers know. This time I'm going to make sure I keep my mouth shut. It's nice that I was one of the first to know, though.

Anyway, we had Engineering Mathematics Applications class in Donut Empire today. I had five donuts, but Mr. Joel managed to pay for them somehow. Fortunately, mine weren't the only donuts he paid for. Adrian and Sue Ann also didn't have a chance to pay for their pastries, and neither did Sue Ann's boyfriend or his buddy. Mr. Joel told us to use the money we had saved to bless other people, since it is better to give than to receive. I'm not sure what I'll do with my RM6. If anyone's reading this and wants some fries or something, I guess this is your chance to get some for free.

In Physics today I learned about light and how you can bend and slow it. It's pretty awesome. With a high enough refractive index or a large enough distance (or a combination of both), you could set up a mirror in such a way that when you look into it, you will see the past. It would require seventy-five thousand kilometers of material with a refractive index of ten for a five-second delay, but still. Pretty awesome thought. Of course, you could achieve much the same result but just hooking up a camera to a monitor and setting a delay, but that's cheating somewhat, and it's probably already been done.

We had presentations in English. I was timekeeper. Alysha was absent because she was sick or something. I hope she still has a chance to present. I told her to text Mr. Dharminder and tell him he was sick, so hopefully he'll show some mercy.

Between classes I taunted Carmeni with my secret and helped her out with her group's presentation on HIV/AIDS for Moral Studies.

When I was done for the day I went to lunch with Denise. Well, that was the plan, anyway, but I got sidetracked for a while talking to Amanda and Davinia, and when I went back to find Denise she had already left to McDonald's. I managed to intercept her right at the table, but then I realized I wasn't in the mood for McD's so I asked where Jia Yin was having lunch and went off to find her.

When I got to Ali Maju's I sat next to Jia Yin and a bunch of people she had just befriended that day. I was also sitting next to two girls from another college, but I didn't know that yet. I asked them if they were taking Foundation in Science or Arts and they told me that they weren't in HELP. I asked them if they were with Jia Yin and her friends and they said they weren't, they were just sharing the table. After that we got to talking and I had a nice conversation with them about our parents and our colleges and our schedules and studies and the food in Pusat Bandar Damansara and stuff. When they left I was only able to remember one of their names, Joanne. If I see the other one I will be in quite an awkward spot. Also I'm pretty sure that's not how Joanne's name is spelt. Anyway, talking to strangers is fun and I highly recommend it.

After lunch I sat in for Elo and Carmeni's Moral Studies class to help them with their AIDS presentation. They ended up stopping only six minutes into what should have been a fifteen-minute presentation, but aside from that and some factual and explanatory errors on their part, it was pretty good. I think they'll get more than 7/10. I find it hard to believe that Elo didn't know what latex was, though. Has she never been in a 7/11 before or something? Also, Carmeni didn't know what sheep gut condoms were made from (Hint: It is exactly what it sounds like).

It was raining again when I rode home. Third Monday in a row.

When I got home I called Effie to see if she was free on Friday. She said that she was broke and she would have to check with her mom to make sure they wouldn't be out-of-town on vacation that day or something. I said okay, and then I took a nap. When I woke up it was late. I went on the computer to blog and stuff, and now it is later.

I have two presentations on Thursday I haven't prepared anything. I'm planning to do that tonight. I've also got to do the review exercises for three EMA programmes. I am going to either be up late tonight, or shit is going to get procrastinated.